A
female
age
41-50,
*ngel1313
writes:I've been seeing a guy I met online for about 2 months now, and need some advice on how to proceed. I was in a long term relationship before and am out of practice with all this dating stuff!!So we've been seeing each other for 2 months and get on well and enjoy each other's company, but I dont know if he is as 'into it' as I am as he still has his online dating profile active and is signed in quite regular. I'm not some bunny boiler and checkin up on him, but the dating site in question sends emails with recomemded people on and he was one of them (my profile is hidden but I still get the emails). I dont want to come out and ask 'why's your profile still active incase he thinks i'm a mad stalker.When the right time to ask how he sees things going without sounding clingy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): I satrted e-mailing this guy online and a month later we met. We have been dating subsequently for a month which included me going to his sisters 40th, visiting his home and I have met some of his friends. He blows very hot and cold and after spending a lovely weekend with him he has said he cant see me next week as he needs to see his mates. Ok fine but then I checked his profile and he was active this evening. Even though we got quite close this weekend I hav'nt had full sex with him and am so glad because clearly he's not convinced. I know a month is not long but we had the talk brought up by him early on and I said my profile was hidden and I was'nt looking anymore. He said he did'nt want to go on any more dates and said he would hide his profile but he has'nt. I am the first online date he had and I told him to go out with other girls but he said he had no interest. I'm defiintely not saying anything to him about it but just need to vent. I can't help wondering am I being foolish do I just say to hell with it and move on ...we're 38 and I'm not into wasting time ..... he thinks I'm cool about everything so ....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): I am also dating a guy I met online. We are both in our 40's. I noticed he was still using the site that we met on after 2 months and it was bugging me a lot but I decided to judge the relationship on how things were actually going between us rather than what he may have been doing behind my back.
A lot of men (and women) get the jitters about relationships in the first couple of months. If things appear to be going well between you both then I would resist asking him about still being on the site. Instead you should focus on what you want from the relationship and make your needs known to him so that he can respond accordingly.
Two months isnt that long and he may still be in the ' deciding where to take this relationship' zone. If you really like him then don't give him any reason to think you mistrust him. Be lighthearted and fun when you date him, don't be too needy but let him know the kind of thing your looking for. When your not with him, focus on your friends and family and give him space to come to you.
I did this with the guy I was dating and we have been together for nearly 6 months. He left the dating site after 2 and a half months without me saying a word.
Don't question him, just make yourself irrisistable so he cannot think about anyone else. Give things time to develop and keep your options open. That way, if things don't work out, you can break things off with a clear head.
good luck to you!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Then I wouldn't ask him...guys like the chase and 2 months is not very long to be seeing someone...don't assume you two are exclusive, he will let you know if you are....let him bring up the realtionship talk first, or you will push him away with your neediness and he will think you are clingy.
Keep busy with your own life and interests and don't always pick up the phone or accept his dates, offer an alternative date instead, let's him know you aren't waiting around for him and that you are independent.
Keep seeing other men until he asks you to stop, but don't rub his face in it or try to make him jealous, subtly let him know you are every now and then being asked out.
Hope this helps.
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