A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,Ive got a problem, its not massive as its effecting me horribly, Im a male 16 year old, and as usual storys go, there is the girl I know to well, I know more about each other than we do about ourselfs, this is the events between us so far- summer 08 I admitted I loved her, but she was already just going out with another boy, I left it for the rest of the year,- they split up, this girl and her BF and she was sad by it, and I tryed as hard as I could to confort her, she was really shaken by it, wouldnt talk about it at all, not even to her own mother,so I gave her advise and space.- I pluck up courage in spring 09 about my feeling for her and she was going out with someone else, and I flipped at her foolishly, I made the final question of " will we or wont we be together" in short and she said it wouldnt be right, that she said it would jepordise our friendship and that she couldnt live with that and that Im more to her then her present boyfriend, personally I was mortified, and I would be meserable for weeks on end,- present day, end of summer and met a new girl(call her girl 2) who cheated on me because girl 2 still had feelings for her ex, so I was more depressed,anyway, Ive found this website and stil love the first girl who is my greatest friend and she is mine,I want to love her, but is now the time? should I give it some years? im still young, alot of REAL relationships start at like 18 to 20+ aged people,could this dream still be probable?im a rightous person, I understand right and wrong in love, its just, I need help. how do I control feeling? I think I should jsut be there for her, not love her in a lust way but in a emotional one? I dont know, Help me.
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cheated on me, depressed, her ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (8 September 2009):
 At sixteen years old, you are too young to be looking for that kind of love. I know, not what you wanted to hear, right?
Here are a couple of things to consider:
1) Its likely that girl #1 ISN'T interested in you that way and is trying to put it out of your mind in the best way she can without hurting you. It would have been better for her to be direct, but she's young and doesn't want to lose your friendship. Her skills are still developing.
Regardless of the why?, she said no. End of story.
2) The person you are today and the person you will be in the future are not the same. Therefore, your wants and needs for a relationship today will change for tomorrow.
Now is the time to practise dating; to hone your skills and invest in other "non-dating" apsects of yourself, so that when you meet the right person, you are the best "you" that you can be... She'll be a fantastic person and worthy of no less from you.
3) You are a great person. You are sensitive and sweet and an absolute prize. You are a rare and unique person. Your partner is a rare and unique person. She won't be easy to find, because she is such a gem. It will take more time than just 16 years, but it will be worth it.. Try to be patient.
;-)
Good Luck!
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