A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I’m 25 and I’m really embarrassed to say that I’m having a crisis tonight because I hate writing reports. This problem has really grown out of proportion and I’m so miserable right now. It’s been a problem in the past but now my head feels like it’s spinning. I wish it were jusdt a case of writers block but I am absolutely paralyzed.The guilt about having to write a dissertation but being frozen in front of the computer keeps me up until 3-4am each night until I pass out. I forget about eating during the day as I fret back and forth worrying about the blank page in front of me. It’s been months. I feel sick and exhausted. I look horrible in the mirror.It was like this in highschool and during my undergraduate degree; painful and debilitating. I have to complete a second degree for my course of study and I hate it! It’s my last term. I’ve completed every requirement but I need to write this one paper to get my degree. The deadline has already passed and I can’t even bring myself to start! I hate it! I hate this career! I hate writing reports! I hate my job! I hate researching this field! After all this, I just want to FINISH it with a vehement hate and I can’t! It’s torturous! It’s poisoning my body. It’s so cruel… I want it to end. I want this paper to go away but for the life of me I can’t start it. I’m paralysed. My heart starts racing and I quickly switch to something else. It’s been months. I feel like such a loser. Thinking of the consequences of all this is too noxious to handle. I know the consequences. I know it’s important. I know it’s crucial. It all makes me feel miserable. My family and friends just stress how important it is and it certainly doesn’t help, I get so noxious thinking about it. I want to run away! I know I need to write and prepare reports and what not in the workplace to pay my bills and Im discouraged by how I struggle at my current job.I will be so embarrassed not to graduate along with my classmates in our small class. I just skipped our final graduation gala because this paper has imprisoned me and I dread having to explain why I didn’t go when I run into my classmates next. I feel helpless and desperate. I feel frozen and torn. I feel like a loser.
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male
reader, malum424 +, writes (2 May 2009):
Calm down first off you don't sem to hate writing or you wouldn't have sent in the message. What I think might be happening is a panic attack. Panic attackes happen when you have high levels of stress and you don't deal with them in a health way. Don't feel like a loser this is more common then you'd think. there are many groups for this which could help you more the me. I feel it would be best if you looked for help with this issue soon and don't feel ashamed for looking for help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2009): HI,
You are not a loser. You have just had it. I have been to school, and I still have a friend in school now. I was burnt out, and she is burnt out--and so are you.
If you don't want to regret this for the rest of your life, you are going to have to dig deep into your soul and finish the report. Like, really deep.
I can relate. I feel paralyzed right now for other reasons (well, maybe I am burnt out right now also) but as much as we don't want to face the next day, it will come no matter what. (I hate even saying that now because I don't want the next day to come either.)
YOu have got to start typing. Just know there are many with you. But you have got to do it.
I know its hard, and I am not in your exact situation, but good luck.
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