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Could you forgive someone who lied about their age and their name? Turns out she the daughter of my boss!

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 September 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 23 September 2015)
A male Canada age 30-35, *onfusedKyle writes:

I met this girl "J" at a bar back in late July. She is beautiful and has an amazing smile, I asked her to dance and we ended up talking all night.

She told me she was 23. We exchanged numbers and the very next day I called her.

We ended up Hooking up and talking for the next month.

One one evening I was at my bosses house for an cook out with my coworkers and in walked his 19 year old daughter !

Who was "J" !

I was dumbfounded I had no idea what to say.

After she left I excused myself and confronted her outside the and she said she lied about her age and last name because she knew I would never talk to her if I knew she was younger or who her father was.

She said everything else she had told me was the truth.

I was furious , I felt like a fool and left. She texted and called a few times but I didn't respond.

The past few weeks I haven't been able to stop thinking about her , I miss her. I had a great time hanging out and talking with her.

My question is could you forgive some one who lied to you about their age and

name?

View related questions: co-worker, exchanged numbers, my boss, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2015):

ok so you are hangng out n bars chatting up the bosses daughter and bingo she turns up as a few years younger.Look mate you are not in her league..if you go near her it is the end of your career isnt it? So you drop her without a thought and wait till daddy hears your the one who made her so miserable.Perhaps it woukd be best to fess up to the boss and get the sack straight away or man up and send her a bunch of flowers but whatever you do dont aspire to take it any further than frienship unless you want to marry her.

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A female reader, bete.noire22 Italy +, writes (23 September 2015):

bete.noire22 agony auntI agree that you shouldn't date her. She's putting YOUR job at jeopardy. And only shows what a real child she is. If she was worried about her age and who her daddy was, the msture thing would for her to start as friends and see where it went from there.

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A male reader, ConfusedKyle Canada +, writes (23 September 2015):

ConfusedKyle is verified as being by the original poster of the question

The night I found out everything she said she lied about her age because she knew most do the guys at that bar were older. She said I didn't ask her last name until the next day when I called and I had already mentioned where I worked . Her father is pretty open another over protective he is of her and they are the only family in the town with that last name so she said she knew if she used it I would put the connection together and probably run in the opposite direction

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (22 September 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntMaybe society should promote a new approach, that all people who start hooking up or dating are required to show 2 forms of ID, with at least one of them a picture ID. Sure would save a lot of older guys from winding up in prison because they happened to mess with a minor. I know, that's not going to happen.

I think her choice to put your job in jeopardy by lying to you about her age and her name, as she obviously knew you worked for her Dad, was the biggest no-no.

So what if everything else was the truth? She lied about the most important aspects and was thinking of herself, certainly not what could happen to you if things go south. You'll lose your job. It may take a while, but Dad will eventually figure out a way to fire the dude who was screwing his teenage daughter behind his back.

Has she told her Dad what she did? If not, why not? That's what I'd want to know. Is she planning on sneaking around with you behind her Dad's back? Those are the actions of a younger teenager, not a mature adult.

Yes, she's 19, so she's at the age of consent. But so what? She didn't give you the full knowledge you needed to give informed consent to having sex with her.

I would steer clear of her and start polishing up the ol' resume. Good luck with the aftermath.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2015):

Why not? Your boss is also a man and a human being.If you think you would be happy working for him as your boss and he would be happy with you, and contemplate yourself as a future member of his family, I would say go for it. you are a man not a chicken.What holds you back?

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (22 September 2015):

celtic_tiger agony auntI agree with Honeypie

This shows her immaturity. She may be 19, but really she is still a child underneath the grown up body. You are a grown man now, looking to have a proper grown up relationship.

Probably best to leave well alone and chalk it up to experience.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (22 September 2015):

Honeypie agony auntAre you OK with screwing the Boss's daughter, potentially dating her? That would be my first question.

If not, forget her.

If you are OK with it, I think that is really up to you. Personally, I think it shows a rather immature girl, who doesn't think before she acts. Actions have consequences...

She obviously knew who you were when you met (otherwise there really wouldn't have been a point to her lying, would there?) How could she not realize that eventually you would find out?

You want to start out a relationship that began with lies? And in all honesty.. if lying was so easy for her with her age and name, how will you be able to actually trust her?

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A female reader, Queenie2015 United Kingdom +, writes (22 September 2015):

Queenie2015 agony auntI get that the lying is bad - and it doesn't really make sense (to me) why she lied.

The real question is - do you like her? If so then contact her, see where it goes but tell her that things must be out in the open now. She mustn't lie again.

If you like each other then go for it - at least she isn't under age (I'm assuming your country has a similar consent age to the UK/USA which is 16/18). If she hadn't been of consenting age I would have told you to run for the hills.

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