A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupids, is it just normal (attraction is there but no more than friendship) or there are deeper feelings involved when a man who has been friends with a woman for over more than 7 years acted and done the things listed below? First, let's say he has never verbally uttered that he has special feelings for her but she heard a friend say he admitted he likes her. So what he is like towards her: he is kind to her. Never spoken about other women to her. Likes to poke and playfully touch her. Attentive to her needs. Would buy and give her funny, cute, random, and thoughtful gifts from time to time. Nevr forgets her birthday once. Would offer to pay for her when they eat out. Randomly ask her out to dinner. Likes to look at her and would sometimes give her the sincere and romantic gaze. Smiles all the time when he is around or with her. Has talked about the marriage topic with her a few times before. And when she asked when he plans to get married by, he asks her when should he?. What kind of answer is that? So what exactly is possibly going on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): I completely agree with everything wise owl said- Particularly the part about not putting your life on hold for ANYONE who won't commit. Something needs to give sorry. Confront him about it and if he doesn't give you the answer you truly want, then write him off as a friend.He DEFINITELY cares for you as more than a friend but I really believe it's either one of two things:1. He is madly in love with you, and SO besotted that he will bottle it all up because he just can't face rejection- believe me people have serious enough rejection hang ups to bottle it up for many years.And how old were you when you met? How old is he? Maybe he always liked you but was at a crazy exploration stage of his teenage life. Maybe he's only just discovered these feelings, or how strong they are. 2. He's attracted to you but is a commitment phobe/ not ready/ looking for e relationship, and wants to have his fun like wise owl said. Come on 7 years knowing him, listen to your gut! :) Good luck! Xx :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): How does a person be friends with someone for as long as seven years and not know the nature of the relationship?
How long will you accept his dancing around commitment?
He really cares for you. He maintains an open escape route, should you seek his commitment. He is terrified of it.
Some guys will try to get away with an "open-end" relationship as long as you let them. They can still date other women unbeknownst to you. They can even have a friend with benefits elsewhere. He may not wish to give all this up.
You've never once ventured to determine if he wants to be a
couple? If you don't approach him about it, he'll just skirt around it as long as he can.
I hope you haven't been with him exclusively throughout all this time, and kept yourself cutoff from dating other men?
That would be so unfair to yourself.
He doesn't let it get beyond the dating stage; because that's the way he wants it. He is very attracted to you, or he wouldn't display so much affection and regard.
If I were in your position, I would ask. If he doesn't come around, then start dating other men and place him in the
"friend-zone."
Don't put your life on hold for any guy, who will not commit to you. That's not very smart and will make you easy to take advantage of. If he only considers you a friend, then get it straight from the horse's mouth.
Don't ask us, we don't know the guy. You've known him seven years.
Are we just friends, or is this ever going to be a relationship? Try this question on him.
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