A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,Need some major advice. In a Long Distance Relationship (UK to Australia) with my girlfriend, and have been for a few months. We only made it official about 3 weeks ago but neither of us have been looking at other people since we last were together, 2 and a half months ago.She has booked flights to come and see me over Xmas when we have both said that we will decide what we are going to do about us.We talk all the time on MSN, Skype and I ring her quite a bit (3-4 times a week).We are both really struggling with the lack of physical interaction, simple cuddles, kisses etc.I love the girl to bits, and either fortunately or unfortunately I think she may be "the one". She was my best mate before I moved away from the UK, then she visited and things happened and we ended up being in a complicated relationship, and then we made it official a few weeks ago.Now I feel really bad because we are both young (21 and 22) and we both have all of our futures ahead of us, both emotional and work wise.I don't want to leave Australia, I love it here. She has said that she will move over here, but I think she is having second thoughts. She doesn't know whether she will be able to move away from her friends and family - which I understand will be hard for her.I'm worried sick that we are in a relationship which is going to end due to the distance and that for the rest of my life i will be in love with a girl who i can never be with. I can't deal with that!! I'm upset to the point of tears (and I never cry) and I can't sleep. The uncertainty is killing me and I fear that it's going to eat up our relationship and kill the spark.I don't know what to do. I tried to break it off a few weeks ago before we made it official, and really hurt her. I was silly and ignored her phonecalls and texts, and I'm feeling a big negative about the whole thing again.Please give me some advice. I feel sick! I know everyone says this but I can't imagine life without this person in it, they mean so much to me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): hiya hun! read ur question and im much in the same boat. i am with a guy in the army only started goin properly a couple of months ago but we hav known eachother a long time. im 22 with 2 kids he is 18 and when he comes home at xmas if things go well he wants me to marry him and follow him wearever he goes, i really want to i couldnt imagin my life without him but it would mean giving up everything the only thing i would take would b my 2 kids. not realy sure how that would work as army life would mean moving around alot never bein settled my worry is how it would affect the kids but i honestly want to b with him and hav no idea how it would b possible!
If i can give u any advice it would b if she is willing to make that saccrifise in giving up her life for u, then whats the worst that can happen if u love each other go 4 it! whats stopping u?
1 door closes another opens! she will find happiness wearever she is as long as she is with the guy she loves.
hope u work it out! take care hun :)
A
female
reader, phoenix85  +, writes (14 November 2008):
if she said she can move,what is the problem?i m in the LDR and i can easyly understand what u feel.but stop making decisions for her.if she thinks that she can move and u two can be together,stop thinking negative and put some afford.u cant know without trying,right?what if u try and be with her like u dreamed?doesnt it worth to try for this?dont mess the things by thinking negative.she is putting enough afford by deciding to move next to u.so support her if u are sure about ur love.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (14 November 2008):
Well if she can't be without her family then would she consider moving abroad for just a year or 3?
Then you could both move home if you decided you really wanted to spend your lives together.
Long distance is utterly horrible, but it is possible. In my opinion you have to be able to be together at some point. You can't stay pen pals forever and call it a relationship. Skype has made it so much better for the world!
Have a long talk about it at Xmas and see what happens. I don;t think you can make a decision before then.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, fergie +, writes (14 November 2008):
I had a few long distance relationships that i thought would work but apparently all they do is to left me hurt no matter how much effort i put in them. so my take on your problem is, try to avoid LD relationships if you can. and if you think it'll hurt her if u break up now, it'll be tougher if things dont go right between the both of u later. at least the pain wont hurt as much now since u 2 just got together officially only recently.and as the saying goes, if u love her, let her go. if its meant to be, she'll come back someday. all the best mate.
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