A
male
age
41-50,
*uintonwayne
writes:Hi there,I got some confusion going on with a girl I met last night.I started to talk with her and we danced together for over an hour and she also asked me if I wanted a drink and I declined then we talked some more for a while and then she asked me again later in the evening if I wanted a drink so I said yeah.We danced some more she kept going off to the bathroom with her friend for maybe 10 minutes or so. She came back and started dancing with her friend and me. Then she pointed at a guy to her friend when I was standing away from them and she made a face as if to say he's nice. This guy walked past her and they started to talk. I got a little upset as they started to dance together. I just left them to it. I went and got my coat and got ready to leave. I said goodbye to her friend and said that I didn't want to interrupt her friend and then she told her friend (the girl I was interested in) that I was leaving she then left this other guy and came over to me and said it was nice to meet me and if I wanted her number. I said I didn't have a pen so she went and looked for one. She couldn't find one in her bag. Whilst she was looking I went to say goodbye to my friends. She carried on talking with this other guy then the guy went to get her a pen from the bar. She wrote down her name and contact details and seemed she was doing this for him as well.As I went to leave I just was annoyed so I just said hope I am not interrupting anything and she oh no and she said it was nothing and mentioned he didn't even guess her accent correctly. I just said ok and as I went to leave she handed me her number. I took it but I was not happy about this other chap. I am not sure what to do because if she was interested in me then why would she have started talking and dancing with this other guy? She also made a face to her friend like oh he's nice when she saw him. I don't know what to do. What do you think of all this?I really appreciate any help.Best wishes! x Reply to this Question
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male
reader, quintonwayne +, writes (21 March 2015):
quintonwayne is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, many thanks for writing here. I really do appreciate it. She offered to buy me a drink twice. I took that as being interested and the fact we were dancing and talking. We shared the same interests as we are both artists. I would like to add that she asked me if I wanted her number as she saw I was about to leave. The other thing that sticks in my mind is this other chap. I did say to her when I was saying goodbye that I hope I was not interrupting her as she was talking with the other chap. She told me no it's nothing really and that he got her accent wrong. This sounds like she may have been convincing me she wasn't interested in this other guy?? I'm so confused :o(
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 March 2015):
 I think she was using the club as some people use a dating sites. MULTIPLE prospects.
She picked out the guys she was interested and just kept on fishing. Maybe you came of as NOT really THAT interested and that is why she moved on to guy #2.
You danced with her for an hour, doesn't mean she owes you squat. Or can't talk to other guys.
Is she interested? I would say not really. Had she been interested she wouldn't have gone looking for someone else to chat to.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 March 2015):
 I think she was initially interested in you but she was used to guys more aggressive. To be honest you didn't show keen interest either. You only showed interest (jealousy) when she looked for another guy. I don't know what you are looking for here. To dance for an hour and still nothing happened. The ladies were in a mission of man hunting. Since you didn't pursue her she looked for another one. What did you expect at a bar? Some talking and then more talking?
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (21 March 2015):
 Hi
sounds like neither you nor he were really special to her.
she was networking and keeping her options open. she certainly does not mind if you recognise her detachment.
She is not yet committed to anyone yet.
And she may not become committed to anyone until she finds the one who meets ALL her criteria.
She is open and transparent about the fact that she's still shopping for a guy.
She is letting you know that she is interested in looking around to give her the best options for herself.
I think you sound like a more traditional guy who needs some certainty that he is with a girl who thinks similarly to you..
Long term I don't think her very detached approach would suit you.
She will work her way through many guys before she finds the one who ticks all the boxes for her.
her head, not her heart, is ruling her actions, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. it is just not your style of operating.
otherwise you too would have been collecting names and phone numbers all night too.
Find a nice girl who finds you to be special to her, and her to you, from the start
regards
Abella
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