A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have a friend who is very skinny, like skeletal (UK size 4), and she hardly ever eats lunch at school with us, and if she does she will eat tiny amounts. She has been like this since I met her, about 4 years ago, and I don't know how long before that.Shes always talking about how she hates being skinny. But if anyone but her mentions her weight she gets very touchy.Does she sound like an anorexic person? The thing is, I have known someone anorexic who couldn't function in society, who was quite literally a nervous wreck all the time, but the girl here is not like that, she has plenty of friends and she is near the top of the class for all her subjects. SO that is why I'm not sure.If she is anorexic, can you suggest ways that I can help her. I think it probably all stems from jealousy of her twin brother, who is an absolute genius and apple of his parents' eyes. He is a really nice guy and would do anything to help her, but I don't want to bring it up with him because I don't know how he'll react if he thinks I'm interfering.Any suggestions helpful
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (25 November 2007):
Hey. I have just checked a few websites. There is a nine step plan to helping some with AN on this website:
http://www.ehow.com/how_17631_support-someone-with.html
It sets it out in a simple practical way.
Bear in mind it might not be AN. So just raise the subject when you are both on your own, somewhere private. Also note from this website that the person may come back to you after reflection.
Good luck anyway.
Richard
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (25 November 2007):
Hi there. It's good that you are concerned for your friend.
Anorexia Nervosa is a possible explanation for her size, but there are other conditions that lead to being underweight, as well as just being naturally thin. If it is Anorexia Nervosa this is a difficult situation for you to deal with.
If you have noticed it, I guess her family have as well. Maybe ask her brother,(I know that you discounted this option, but if you really want to help then you have to overcome your unease at his possible reaction). Say that you're really concerned, you might be wrong, but you felt you ought to do something to ask about her wellbeing.
Your other alternative is to raise it with her. The problem here is that AN sufferers tend to deny there is anything wrong. Try I suppose. Say that you are only concerned with her welfare and ask her if there is anything you can do as you have noticed ( a, b, c etc). If she does suffer from AN, it might be the additional feedback she needs to understand she has problem. Or she might tell you of some other condition she has, which may or may not be true. In which case , you go back to the brother.
So - seems best way would be to speak to her first. See what happens there. If still concerned speak to brother. You could also raise it with the school I suppose, but I think speaking to her is the best option. It's feedback for her.
Well done for being so caring about your friend.
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