A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need advice on how to handle my controlling ex husband. I was married for 15 years and have 3 children. The oldest of my children is 14 and the youngest 6. My ex wont give up. He is in complete denial. He says there is no way that I don't love him. He says it makes no difference that I didn't want to get married in the first place. (we married when I was 19) That according to the good book, marriage is forever and that I am bound to him for life, regardless of whether or not my divorce was granted. We have been divorced for 3 weeks and he is still wearing his wedding ring! He has asked his pastor for prayers that I would come to my senses and reconcile with him. He is a completely controlling person and is used to getting his way on everything. He is constantly involving the kids in our arguments and telling them how much of a bad influence their mother is. I have made it very clear that I want nothing to do with him and that it is SO wrong to involve the children. Have had the police at the house twice because he refuses to leave....constantly preaching at me for hours!What do you think?
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female
reader, Laurdania +, writes (24 March 2009):
Wow.I'd suggest praying by yourself. And second, I'd have a little sit down with the kids and explain to them that, not that what he is doing is wrong..(cuz if they tell him that more arguing would happen)..but try to level with them. Let them know that they don't have to allow themselves to get dragged in. That if mom and dad are arguing its not their place to make any remark..but I'd make it sound diffrent..you don't want them to think your scolding them. My mom recently divorced my step dad. So when they argue he tries to bring me into it. My mom stopped attending the church he goes to because people would make her feel bad for divorcing him. But she did what she had to do to get away from his contollingness. And yea, she sat me and my brother down and explained that when they argue to just not say anything. Dont take sides. And that she loves us. And he left her alone ..after awhile..
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