A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my ex used to have these moments, usually when he was high or really tired, when he'd blurt out:"oh, i'm gay...i'm gay i'm gay..." and it never had anything to do with what we were talking about or doing. he'd always just blurt this out randomly. and he was definitely not trying to be funny.he didn't do it often, maybe 4 times in 9 months.and i also know that he wanted to be submissive, wanted to be told what to do, even be treated sadistically (which i can't do), and wanted to find a girl who was 'more like a man in character.' he never said he wanted one that looks like a man, though...attractive girls get him sprung even when he doesn't want it. sometimes his penis really had a mind of its own in that regard. in short, he was truly sexually attracted to how women look, but seemed to have a deep need for masculine energy.he is not homophobic--he has had gay male friends, and told me he only freaks out if they ever try to make a move on him, or when he thinks that is what they want to do. he also told me he is really tired of some people telling him he is gay or who tease him about being gay...i'm sorry to generalize, but he had habits that people sometimes wrongly attribute only to gay men (for instance, he is meticulously groomed, pays attention to fashion, concerned with appearance, etc)...and he can be very sweet, flirtatious with people of either sex, and is emotionally intuitive. he can really charm anyone if he wants--i've seen him persuade a 'redneck' man in his 50's to get excited about the idea of trying yoga...i mean, he's really good at persuasion via flirtation and sweetness. he also told me that he just feels more comfortable around women instead, having girls as friends instead of guys...though he has male friends as well.i don't think he even knows what he truly wants. it just seems he wants to be under the influence of a masculine presence, but is physically attracted to women. does anyone have some insight into this?
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female
reader, waciehawks  +, writes (2 June 2009):
He sounds unconfident and confused by his own sexuality. To me, he just sounds flirtatious and flamboyant.
Think about his past, you say he 'seemed to have a deep need for masculine energy'. Think to the male figures in his life. Fathers, brothers, uncles etc...were they around, how did they treat him?
Alot of these cases psychologically revert to childhood.
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