A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I lost my lovely husband 2 years ago and recently found someone else who I thought was very nice and charming. Although to begin with I was not very interested he was so nice and attentive and I felt flattered that someone was interested in me and I became fond of him and we eventually slept together. He took me on some very nice holidays, he paid for the holidays and I paid for the taxis drinks and food we had a nice time. I soon began to noticed that he wanted everything his own way and he would sulk if things did not go the way he wanted. I also started to notice that he went out a lot without me and asked him whether we were a couple or friends with benefits he said he was not sure. I then found out he was going out with other women and sleeping with them he thought he was very clever but really he was not. Well I finished with him but I am so annoyed that I let myself get into that situation and angry with him for being a such a rat. I was getting quite fond of him - obviously it was one sided - how could I have been so blind and stupid
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (14 September 2015):
 Don't beat yourself up about this. It happens to the best of us. Call it an experience and try to look at all the positives you got out of it. He came into your life to make you feel wanted, desired and loved again, and he helped you move on from the grief of losing your husband. Consider this experience a stepping stone for you.
One thing you should know is that he was quite fond of you too. He would not have invested time and money into the relationship if he did not enjoy your company. Both of you brought some joy into each other's lives, even if it was for a short period. It was not one-sided as you perceive it to be.
The problem is that he was not exclusive with you, and that was a deal breaker for you, which is good. You know in your heart that you want to be in an exclusive relationship with someone.
Your next step would be to find someone who wants the same kind of exclusivity that you are seeking.
Forgive him. Forgive yourself. Be thankful for a pleasant experience, even though it was short, and look forward to your next adventure:)
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