A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Greetings dear cupid, i am a male and 20 years old.I am very confused about someone i am beginning to like. The other problem is i have a girlfriend as well. It all began when my sister got back in contact with her old childhood best friend name Sarah. Sarah lived in the opposite side of the state and she decided to come visit my sister. Sarah and I began to talk and i decided to hang out with them as well to get to know her a little better. We all had fun and good laughs for the past week. But it was almost her time to go. So we went over to her families house for a goodbye party. That night my sister went into the car to talk to her boyfriend and it was just me and sarah alone. we talked about her feelings about how she feels sad on having to say goodbye to me and my sister. Then she asked if i would like to take a walk with her and i went along. We talked a lot about our family, friends, my sister, past, and future. I felt connected to her and enjoyed every moment. She kept looking at me and i kept looking at her but at the same time trying to not make it obvious. Then we finally got back to her house and all had to say goodbye. But then she asked if my sister and i would go with her and her mom on a road trip for one day but my sister refused to go. Instead Sarah asked me if i would go with her and i said yes. I didnt tell my girlfriend i left with her because she would get extremely jealous. So it was me,Sarah and her mom. The trip would take 8 hours so it was a long ride there. We sat in the front together just talking so much about the usual things (music,games,people,food,love life and of course my sister)Getting to know her more just made me feel more attracted to her. Oh i feel i am writing too much, to make it shorter on our way back she slept on my shoulder for a good hour or so and kept looking at me when she got to drive back. That was the last day we got to be together. so we went back to my house and we all hung out again. It was late and she had to go back home. it took a few hours to all say goodbye. She hugged me for the longest time and my heart was racing hoping this wouldnt end. Then she began to walk away from us but she couldnt do it and gave us all a hug at the same time. We all talked again and my sister told her to write letters to me. She said yes will do and you have 1 year to break up. then she hugged me again for the longest time and i was almost about to cry. then finally said goodbye.So far we have written a few emails and things seem just decent. I tried to break up with my girlfriend because i told her how i felt but all she did was cry and beg me for another chance, saying if we don't try again we will never know if it will truly work out. and i decided to stay. But thinking about Sarah is mixing up my feelings even more when she said i have a year to break up. Was she just going along with it because of my sister? or could she have some feelings too? I am just afraid to get my hopes up and feel stupid in the end.
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 I would not break up with your current gf just because you have nice feelings for another girl.
You have TWO seperate issues here.
You break up with a gf when the relationship is not healthy and can not be fixed.
If you are really confused about how you feel about your current gf and can not possibly become Un-confused, then you need to let her go. Of course she WILL cry and want you to change that. Breaking up sucks. It hurts. It is a fact of life. But it hurts MORE to feel stuck in a relationship you know that will not get better. You might resent your partner and "fake" a relationship just to avoid hurting them. Guess what? It doesnt HURT LESS later.
If you are respectful and kind during the breakup, she WILL be hurt, but later she will look back and see you did it the best way you could.
You and your family have feelings for Sarah and that work out later in the future, but ONLY if you can spend time with you and she lets you know for sure she is interested in pursuing a relationship.
When she comes back you can make a choice IF you are both available to do so.
Best Wishes.
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