A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi I'm so confused about things at the moment. i could really do with some advice. okay my problem is about my sexuality. I'm confused because i am only attracted to guys and am not interested in doing anything sexually physical with a girl, yet. i get turned off by penises in the sense that I love sex, but i hate giving blow jobs, find penises so unattractive, and get repulsed if i watch a guy ejaculate. i can only get turned on by porn with a guy and a girl as long as there are no close ups of ejaculation, but i get more turned on by lesbian porn. does this mean I'm bisexual?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, staceyboxall +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Hiya...thank you for taking the time to post your question
I think that it is very unlikely that you are bisexual becouse a lot of other girls do not like the look on boys penises, or even the way they feel, this is natural. If you dont find other woman attractive then there is no sighns that you could be bisexual. You are only bisexual if you find both mate and females attractive. But dont forse your self to do anything you dont want to do...if you dont like giving blowjobs then dont you dont have to do them becouse you are a woman, you dont need to prove yourself to nobody
I hope i could you....:)
xSx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): I re-read our question twice, the only thing that stood out was that You Are Attracted To Guys. I'm a married female but I can still remember, I was attracted to guys and yet it still took a while before I was attracted to penises. There are many different parts of becoming comfortable with our own sexually, our identities, our likes and dislikes, our past influences and the manners in which we were raised, and then there is learning about what we desire and enjoy. There is so much repression and no right answer except what is right for you. People will give many different statics and answers for how many people are straight and gay. They will also tell you that there is no such thing as bisexual. The truth is probably in degrees of both and there is no right or wrong answer - but just what is right for you. I suspect that you are straight, young, possibly still getting comfortable with your sexuality. Maybe the part of you that is uncomfortable is a about guilt or religion (hey, families happen)? Firstly, if you don't own a penis, it's fine to be uncomfortable with them at first! Contrary to popular belief and porn films, it takes a while to be comfortable giving blow jobs, and really, the eventual goal is about giving pleasure - and enjoying the feeling of giving pleasure - to your partner. You are still young - but I think you probably know where your sexual orientation lies, just by past fantasies and crushes. I don't think that you are necessarily bisexual if you enjoy looking at women too, it could be that the experience of watching women echoes and mirrors what you are experiencing and enhances your pleasure because you can identify with their pleasure. It is harder to identify with a male orgasm because your orgasm is different - and the more familiar you become with how men orgasm, the more you will enjoy it. I still think the best essay I ever read about women enjoying men - paraphrased - was "Although we can appreciate the pleasures that well-trained and knowledgable penis can bring, the thing that women really love about men is their eyes, their lips and their skillful hands". The essay was poetry, but science tells us that most women don't orgasm by penis alone (less than 25%) and most need help to orgasm manually or orally, so you will fit in normally somewhere. I'm pretty sure that with the help of a trustful and devoted lover, you will find that your sexuality was not in doubt after all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): You might be, but I don't think so. Your entry sounds like I could have written it myself. I agree with everything you said, but I consider myself straight
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A
female
reader, JulietteElise  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 i don't think you are bisexual at all, because if you hate giveing a blow job, of course u'll hate looking at a penis and vice-versa. many girls don't like givieng a blowjob, weither because they are repullshed because of what it is also used for (peeing) or because they find it uncomfertable or it makes them feel degraded.... or because you are just scared of haveing the cumm in your mouth!
i also HATE male cumm, and hate seeing a guy ejaculate. i don't know why, but i just find it so disgusting and don't want it on me at all! for me the worst is knowing there are thousands of tadpole like things swimming around in there! i used to even make my first sexual partner clean me up down there afterwords i didnt want to touch it so much! its been several years and i've gotten to the point that i can even clean it off of him, and have occasionaly let them cum on me as long as its nowhere near my face, hair, and they clean it up.... though i still dont want to see the ejaculation. no idea why... but it just bothers me... so dont worry! its normal, and other females feel the same way too!
however, you say you enjoy sex, and never had sexual feelings toward a girl/haveing sex with a girl, and are obviosuly attracted to males, so you are straight. :0D you just find penises unatractive, for whatever reasons (besides how soem of them can also be gross, and they just look silly.... etc... and dont get me started on balls!... saggy hairy things... lol), and females are wired diffrently then males, males are wired to see a person naked they like and get aroused, while a women needs to be "warmed up" through forplay or whatever to really get going, thus, being attracted to a penis is not important, and i dont know too many girls who find it attractive overall, just love how it can make them feel! as to being aroused by lesbian porn its because you know there wont be any ejaculation and male cumm! and women are beutiful, and two people turned on and all over eachother obviously is a turn on for many people, includeing you.... you just dont want to see "cumm shots" and hell, i agree. also, it might be more comfertable seeing to women have sex, touch eachother, etc, because you may then visulize its your body being touched in those areas, and because its more like forplay for the actual sex you and your partner will have, or untill your horney and want to masterbate. besides... just male and female sex can be boreing because its not as sensual.... its "bang bang bang" ussually.... and thus not as visualy intresting.
so dont worry, i belive that you are stright from what you said, but even if you were bi... would it be a bad thing or even matter? i don't think you are though, lots of stright women watch lesbian porn with their men and are turned on by it without actually wanting to be with a women sexualy.
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