A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy summer of 2009 and we live in 2 different places. I live in the U.S. and he lives in lebanon. when we met I was 18 and he was 3 years older. I usually go there every summer. He is friends with people i know, and i know his family, and he knows mine. When we first met I wasnt interested in him, but he kept trying to talk to me, and then I gave him a chance. I ended up really liking the guy. I liked his personality, and he treated me so well, and would do anything for me. we ended up going out and 2 months after, he siad he had an idea and that idea was getting engaged..and he said he loves me. so we had a promise. oh and btw he really likes america and i dont think he was using me to get here, but who knows. anyways, I came back to the U.S., and we kept dating and we would talk everyday, and he would call me every single day. he treated me really good, and still loved me the same way. Then I started changing. I started listening to my friends and people around me. they would tell me im too serious with this guy, and plus this was my first serious relationship. so i started getting confused, and I also started college, and all the girls i knew were going out living their life. i felt he was the one, but at the same time i felt maybe im missing out. so i told my bf we shouldnt be too serious because i wanna live my life and stuff, and that if we end up talking to someone, either one of us then thats okay. from that point on i started changing and i started treating him really bad and i became rude towards him and started becoming careless, and told him i wasnt sure if i love him and stuff. i also told him we should be friends but then we decided to stay together. then i met this guy, we became close and we started talking but my bf didnt know. anyways this was for a whole year..then things didnt work out with me and that guy. my bf was there for me the whole year and still loved me. so time passed and then i went back to lebanon this summer again of 2010, and i saw him..i still was kinda the same towards him, like rude and stuff. but deep down inside i felt i started loving him again and my feelings started coming back. i wanted to take things slow...and i told him if we go out then we should just go out here and when i get back we should just be friends. he disagreed and said we either stay friends and continue as friends or go out and stay going out.. however at the time there was this girl that he works with that was after him and liked him a lot.. so after a while i decided i would just go out with him..but he was like "ohh no i have this girl now..i dont want you anymore" and i still stuck around for him..even when he played mind games during that time. he would be on and off with me. then in the end we finally went out.. things were good again, and i told him i would never hurt him again, and i told him i was sorry, and i realized that i really loved this guy even if i hurt him in the beginning..so i came back to the U.S., and i started first semester of college..my whole focus was on school this semester because i didnt do so well the other times. and once i started i barely talked to him again..and would ignore his calls and tell him i was busy. i know i could have made time for him but chose not to make time for anyone. but that doesnt mean i didnt love him..so towards the end of first semester he started changingg and pretty much treated me the way i used to treat him..and he acted he didnt wana be with me so i just left him because he couldnt do it i guess. at the time i was still in school, i was stressed out and stuff. my cousin there told me he was cheating on me..anyways he came back to me but he wasnt the same. he was on and off with me and he would tell me that hes traveling for work so he doesnt know if it will work out. but that is BS because he was the one who wanted to go through distance in the first place. we then officially dated again..but i felt something weird..i felt he was being shady..and that he didnt love me the same way. so i decided to test him. I know this is stupid but i decided to make a fake facebook of a girl. i sent him a msg on facebook pretending to be the girl and told him that i wasnt from there and that i was gonna go to his school and wanted someone to show me around. he said sure. at the time he was showing me and telling me "oh look this girl sent me a msg" then i replied as the girl saying do u have a gf? and he said he would tell her when he sees her. he even told me that he told her that. but he lied and told me "i know this girl from school, ive seen her around". so i pretty much told him it was over and that whole facebook thing was me.. and he acted like he didnt care or anything. soo then he would talk to me after the break up..and acted like he wanted to get back but in the end he made a final decision, and said this wasnt gonna work out. so he delted me off facebook...then i called him and told him why hes doing that..and that there should be no hate between us.. then we talked that day and we went out again a week ago..and he opened up to me and told me that when we stopped going out he pretty much went and hooked up with this girl and stuff. then i told him that if he rly loved me that he wouldnt have done that with the whole facebook thing i did. he said well there was nothing wrong with what he did and that he cant reject a girl like that and that he was gonna tell her he had a gf when he met her. so i said ok. i kept bringing that up for the past couple days and he still would act whatever..and said theres nothing wrong. so after nagging he started telling me what i wanna hear. so now he tells me he wnats noone else but me but im not sure if hes only saying stuff for me to stop nagging. anways i told him i want things to be the same as we first started going out... he says stuff, and says okay, and only does stuff for me when i want it. and he ended up telling me sry for the whole fake facebook thing. anyways i have his facebook password and today i went on and he added this random ass girl and pressed like on her picture.. i was like who is that and he was like ohh my managers daughter and that is a lie because i know its not. and he was like take it easy theres nothing wrong with that. im sitting here trying to make it work and keep explaining to him stuff but then he tells me to stop nagging...he says hes inlove with me and that he loves me but honestly i dk what to do anymore. i love this guy and im trying to make it work, but i dont know if he feels the same way as before. i asked him if he does and he says yes...but what if hes lieng.i know i hurt him before, and he probably got sick of it but then why would he get back with me. i wanna be in this relationship but right now i dont know what to do anymore....any advice? sry this is too long.
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