Complicated hot and cold relationship with an ex

A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This is my first time on this site and needed some advice on my ex girlfriend. Me and her dated for 1.5 years and well it was great for the longest time, and well it was not until I went into a funk and was not my self for the longest time. Basically in her eye's I had stopped being her boy friend and became more of a friend. So we ended up breaking up for a period of time, we began talking and found that we both were still interested in each other latter on in our lives. She wanted to experience a life before she was with a husband, which in her eye's at the time would be me. So after a period of time 4 months, we began dating again, since I had changed myself to seem like a more interesting guy, after a period of time i just realized i was not myself with her and it slowed down again and she had lost complete interest in me and didn't love me anymore, but she cared a lot for me, that she never wanted to lose contact with me, that she wanted to be with a guy like me in the future but not to get my hopes up (since she was interested in another guy which i found out shortly after the break up). She started to date this guy and we chatted once a week or so for a period of about a week. Then for about 3 months we were both hot and cold towards each other, one day she would be angry at me and say "You never understood ... (during our relationship)", so we would be distant for about 4 days. Now after about 3 months of being hot and cold between each other, we have hit a bit of a groove were we are 'friends', we go for runs (which we both enjoy being outside and its one thing that we like to do, we had a lot in common). Then for about 3 weeks, we become a lot closer then we have been in a long time, we would see each other about 3/4 times a week. She started really to flirt with me or at least it seemed that she was. Then recently we were planning to spend a part of a day together, at least about 3 - 4 hours to go for a walk a long a river and around different areas. But then her boy friend (the guy she replaced me with) wanted to do something with her so, initially we were going to meet each other. We were then going to spend the day with each other and just going to hang around with her boy friend. But after a bit of time she had changed her mind, she said its not a good idea, that she thought me and her current boy friend wouldn't get a long and that it would be very awkward. I told her that I would be okay with it, but she said "I don't care what you and my boy friend say, I know what will happen and I'd rather it not happen". We did go for a quick walk, but it was quite and nothing really much said, she was really sad about not to be able to go for a good one, she feel's amazing after a good walk/run and that sorta stuff. She then seemed fairly distant and didn't really say good bye. Whats up with her? What would be the best course of action here?

View related questions: ex girlfriend, flirt, my ex, period

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010):

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