A
female
age
41-50,
*MANOV08
writes:it is a long story i didn't no how to make it short.. and here it is. i am in love with my boss for 7 years now, as a kid i was the fifth after 4 sisters and had one brother who got all the attention, i went to a girls school, and had no real encounters with boys, and then at university , no guy was really attracted to me, i would say that i am pretty good looking girl and has very good social realtions with everybody and people like me, they find me a very nice person and a loyal firend. any way, the story begins when i met my boss, it was my first job after univerity, he is a very good person at heart , very nice , charming charismatic, very good looking, very succesfull and actually every girls dream come true , as i hear from my colleagues, and married. i felt he was attracted to me and that attaraction being the first in my life , made me fall in love with him easilly, the first year was mutual attrction and we were so in love, he bought gifts, he loved spending every moment with me, it was pure love, after that our relation ship lasted 1 year, where we had hot sex, and then the realtion cooled off from his part, and i was just waiting for him every now and then to meet and have one of our hot nights togother this lasted another 4 years, we had great chemistry he said, he had never encountered this his whole life even though he knew many in his early days. he is 42 i am 30, when i met him i was 23 and he was 35. it has been a year now that he had stopped our relation, actually i suppose because he had a heart attack decided he wanted to be loyal to his wife, he never explained or said anything, after his heart attack actually we met and had sex 2 times. but after that he just just never asked me again. it is very hard for me, since i cannot talk about this with anybody not even to him, i am emberrassed to talk to him , maybe he just stopped seiing me attractive and that his choice, but i am still head over heals in love with him. the worst thing is that he is a really nice person to everyone, and likes nice stuff to his employees and treats women with much kidness, and likes to have laughs with them. the problem is that whenever he likes a girl employee, i get so jealous, and i get so annoyed and furious, but keep it to myself and never say anything, but sometimes he sees it and tries to be nice to me too, but i hate it, because i want like before, i don't want him to be nice i want him to be in love with me. i know this is so wrong i know it in my head, and i know i should leave, but i acn't, first it is a very good job and it has so many opportunities, second: it is the only job i knew, what if i leave and never make it outside it is a big risk especially that i have a loan installments to full fill each month = 50% of my salary and i get a good salary i don't know if can get it outside. i am scared to death to leave. third: he has been there with me and helped the whole time in work, he taught me everything i know, i don't whether i am good, or i am good beacuse he supports me. i can't concentrate at work, i tried through out this year to get out and meet people, he even encouraged me to do so, he even tells me how happy he will be for me if i sees get married and settled, that this will help me even concentrate on my wrk more. but i face the same old problem, no man is attracted enough to me to fall in love with me, passing relations is not my thing, and it won't get me out of this mess, i need reall love to make me forget this one, the most killing thing is that i see him everyday, i look forward to his calls to my office even if it is just for work, i look forawrd each day to every laugh i steal from him to me, for every applause from him for a job i have done right. i have a key important positionat his company, and now he even wants to give me a new position in the company this would mean to move my office next to his, but i cannot it is a nightmare for me to keep hearing his voice and seeing him all the time, i am going crazy i don't know how to deall with it as adult mature person, and get him out of my heart like he did and move on with my life. i feel i am living a tragedy no one in it but me. what is the solution? i feel i am going to explode soon 7 years of suppressing are not few.... i am furious and boiling inside please help .....
View related questions:
at work, jealous, move on, my boss, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LLindy87  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Hey there, while reading that I feel like I have to address the question you're asking and one more thing, your self esteem.
I'll start with the latter. I feel like you may not believe in yourself as much as you should. Here is what I want you to do,and you don't have to do it, I just think it will help you feel better about yourself. Write down all the good things in your life. You said your job pays great, well keep that job despite your situation with your boss. write down anything else you enjoy about you. You said yourself that you're a very good looking girl, so let the world know it. I don't mean go out there and be a hoochie mama but go out there and be confident and proud of who you are. and if you can't, then pretend at first. Sometimes if you pretend to be confident, real confidence follows.
Next I want to talk to you about your situation. The blunt truth is that this guy is married and had an affair with you in the past. That is the facts, obviously you know that part. However, put yourself in his shoes. He is already committed to someone else and clearly doesn't honor that. Do you really want someone who doesn't take commitments to heart? You also said that he 'likes' other girls you work with, from the way you put it, it sounds like this guy is a big flirt.
My advice is to move on from him, you deserve someone who isn't already married. Even if he did fall in love with you, you'd be the other girl. Unless he'd get a divorce, which is just a lot of complications for a start of a new relationship anyway.
It will be hard to keep your mind off him. Perhaps focus on his flaws, make yourself see things that you might have brushed off before. It sounds like you have him on a pedestool, take him off that pedestool and realize that you are worth it, and if this guy can't see it then he's probably not worth your time.
Good luck with everything.
|
