A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Married almost thirty years, have had our children early. They are all married. Recently, my husband has had a job change, and is trying to reinvent himself. I understand how difficult this is, and it has been going on now for about two years. My question: Lately, after having a very nice evening and getting intimate, the next day he seems almost rude. Until, he gets in the mood again. It is really hurtful to me. When I tell him this he denies it, and says it is in my head. Do you have any solutions for me? Thank you Margaret
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): No one can speak for your spouse. Women have all sorts of support groups for menopause. Men, for the most part, don't dare speak of changes that might come with age. I have to wonder, though, if he's not what he was and can't quite admit it.
A
female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (9 November 2010):
 I have never found anything in my life as difficult as the passage into this phase of my life. I think we made it so far that we thought we had it made, but the reality is that middle age brings with it a whole new bag of complexities.
If he wont talk about it then I dont know what you can do or say to change this. I hope you can get him to open up. I think men feel inadequate and do not know how to deal with the changes in their sex drive and their feelings about themselves, while our needs escalate.
He is feeling insecure about his life, his job, his very being and its hard for them to open up and talk about it. So they build walls around their feelings to protect themselves. In doing so they inadvertantly block us out. With perserverance, sometimes you can just work, until you get thru to them, or get thru the problem. Maybe some of the men will help us out here....
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