A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy at work last January and I really like him. We would always talk and joke around, and he seemed to definitely like me as a person. One night after work he asked me what I was going to do now. I told him I was probably going to go back to my dorm room to try and sleep (it was after midnight). I thought he seemed a little disappointed, but he told me to have a good night, and the next time we worked together, we continued to talk and joke around. Last March when we were working together, I knew that it had been his birthday the previous week. I had wanted to find out for a while if he was available, so I asked, "Did you go out to celebrate with your friends, or your girlfriend?" It seemed like there was an awkward silence, and he almost seemed a little pissed off. He completely avoided the girlfriend topic and just said that he went out with his friend. The next time I worked with him after this, he seemed a little cool and distant, though he was still polite and nice. I noticed though, that I was the one always initiating the conversation, and he almost seemed like he didn't really want to talk to me. I knew that this would be the last time we would work together before classes ended for the summer, but neither of us really acknowledged this to each other, and he seemed like he was trying to avoid me that whole last night.Well, a new school year has just started and even though we don't work at the same time this semester, I've seen him a couple of times when I'm getting off a shift and he's coming in to start a shift. He had always used my name when he talked to me last semester, and he has continued to do so this semester. However, he's still acting like he's trying to avoid me. I sent him a friend request on facebook (I’m still trying to find out if he’s available), and he hasn't accepted it. I casually asked him about this, and he acted like he didn't remember seeing my request, and made the excuse that he doesn't go on facebook much but that he would look into it. Well, I'm trying to figure out what to do. I really like this guy, and he's the first guy that I've actually felt comfortable talking to (I’m usually a very shy person, especially around guys). He's also the first guy who I've been attracted to for more than just his looks. I can tell that he's a good person, and we have a lot of common interests. I could tell last semester that he seemed to like me, but ever since that last shift that we worked together last semester, he's seemed distant, like he's trying to avoid me, though he's always still polite and nice when I talk to him. What should I do? Should I confess that I really like him and ask him how he feels? Should I casually ask him one night what he's doing for dinner, and suggest that we go get something together? Or do you think, based on what I've told you, that he probably never felt anything romantic for me and that I should just let this go? Also, if you could give me some insight into why he might have suddenly started acting differently toward me, I would appreciate it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): Hey!
I think youve given him good signs youre interested. If he's avoiding you, perhaps he's shy or perhaps you came on strong and scared him off.If he's shy..its tough to say as I havent seen his body language, facial expressions, etc....believe me those say a lot about someone's interest and you can find good articles on the web about that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm thinking that he might just be shy too--he doesn't seem like the kind of guy how would be a player. It seemed like everything changed after I tried to find out if he had a girlfriend (I explain this in my original question). The way that I asked him, I was assuming that he did have a girlfriend---maybe when he saw that I assumed that he already had a girlfriend, he thought that I was not interested in him (maybe he didn't pick up on the fact that I was trying to find out if he was available). Do you think it's possible that he's avoiding me because he does like me, but he thinks I'm not interested, and he's trying to get over me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): Do not chase this man. He's playing a stupid game with you and thats a sign of immaturity and also a clear sign to a possible unhealthy relationship if one were to ever occur. You deserve a real guy who treats you genuinely and lets you know his feelings straight out, no mixed signals, a clear sign he really is interested. But what would I know every time Ive done that its failed. Then again every time Ive chased a brod (ahem)...woman, things lead to disaster as I got tired from chasing and once I caught her Id be like "ahh I can finally relax now that shes mine"...this caused me to be lazy and exhausted emotionally. I think you deserve someone obviously not like myself..haha def not like me...but def not someone like this fella. Good luck.
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