A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started going out with this Australian guy about a year ago, he was living in the UK. After about six months he went travelling for a bit, this was his plan before he met me, but we stayed together and I even flew over to meet him while he was in Italy a couple of times for weekends. He then spent Christmas with me family as his family were on the other side of the world. We get on really well and he is a total sweetheart but I'm not sure if I love him. Anyway, he went back to Australia as his visa was up and he hadn't been home in two years, but we were still a couple and kept in touch constantly. I had planned to go and visit him for three weeks, which I did in April. The thing is, before I went to visit him I went out with friends on valentines night and I kissed a guy at a nightclub. I was feeling really sad because my boyfriend was so far away and I wanted to feel attractive and close to someone..I felt really guilt about it the next day, but then I put it to the back of my mind and I went over to visit him for the three weeks. It was great, but sometimes I didn't find myself attracted to him at all and felt more like a friend to him then a girlfriend. I went home and I was really sad leaving but once I got back to work and my life here I didn't miss him too much. Now he wants me to come over and stay for longer, maybe six months or a year. I would like to, because it is an amazing country and I would like to live there for a bit..but I feel v guilty about that kiss now. I am due to book my flights this week and have handed in my notice in my current job. Should I tell him about the kiss before I go over? I don't know if I love him though he told me he loves me...how do you know if you love someone?? Please help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008): In my situation I really love him.. I just dont know if hes cheating on me or not~~ But there is this big feeling in my heart that he is~` its really hurting me i dont know if he is cheating on me or not.. But ill tell him im losiong my love for him.. I cant tell him i dont trust him which i dont trust him 10% and i dont trust him 90%..Im going to tell him i lost my love for him.. And ill also see if he says u want to break up if he does say that he is cheating but if he cries hes not
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): I have been / am in a very similar situation to you however it is my boyfriend who is in Oz and he who has lied. This has just come out 1 week before I am supposed to get a flight out. He's not told the truth for over 2 years and yet my gut instinct told me something was wrong. The trust has just disappeared in my heart. I read your post and thought maybe you shouldn't go - phone him tell him you are not as in love with him and don't think it will work. Then I looked at your age and thought well you are young and you have said you would like the chance to live / spend longer in Oz which I don't blame you for at all and perhaps this should be your basis for going. Things may run their course with this guy and go one way or another but you may never have a better 'reason' for going to Oz in the first place so if you can take the emotional rollercoaster and put it in context of experiencing a different culture / country and just go with the flow you should still go. Whether to tell him? I think you will know when you arrive.
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