A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Okay, this might not be the best site to ask this, but here goes:My gf and I are friends with this other couple. It's not like we're best friends, but we are pretty good friends.They are friends with this other couple, who, unfortunately, we can't stand. My gf told our friends that she thinks this other couple are lame, and she might have even said something like "you should stop having them over."I think this was a mistake. Do you? It seems to me that our friends are a bit colder to us now, but maybe it's because of some other reason.Thanks for your views!
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (30 May 2009):
 Uh the reason that the couple is colder to you is because your GF let the cat out of the bag.That type of stuff (when friends dont get along with a friend of a friend)is always better left unsaid. The risk of saying something that is potentialy negative is that Negative things tend to get repeated in conversations rather than positive things.So your GF told her friend, who in turn went right to the couple you dont like and told them. Under no circumstances do you tell somebody something like that unless you have their complete confidence, or they are a close family member. So now they are taking the high road and being cold and letting you know that they know. So the only way to solve this is either simply talk your differences out with this couple or get yourself a new set of friends, because this low drama will only continue and animosity will build and one of these times when you are together there will be a look or a vibe thats gonna end up with fists flying and people crying
A
female
reader, apehkah  +, writes (30 May 2009):
Well I suppose it would depend too on why you don't like them. But personally I would be pretty upset if someone tried to tell me who I should and shouldn't have as friends, and it could be how they are viewing it. The best thing I would do would be simply to talk to your friends and tell them that you aren't completely comfortable being around their friends, so at least they know. Best of luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): Yes. Saying "you should stop having them over" Is disrespectful to the friendship that they have with the other couple. To suggest that THEY should stop seeing them just because the two of you dont like them, is self centered.
I'm sure this is not how you actually are, but this is most likely how you came off to them.
Most friends feel a certain loyalty to other friends that pushes them away from negative forces working against their friends. Does that make sense?
Basically.. if someone said to me
"your friend is a sped"
I would feel loyalty to my sped friend and not be so happy with the person who called her a sped.
I recomment apologizing and tellign them taht you didn't mean to insult their friendship. That you're sure they're nice people, but you can't seem to find any way to relate to them and you said it in the wrong way.
In your own words of course.
...............................
|
