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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been dating a wonderful women for the last 2 years. I love her sprit, drive and independance; she is unlike any person I've ever met. We had planned on marrying in two years, after we each finished Uni. Recently, she told me that after Uni she wants to join the peace corps or spend a few years teaching English overseas, meaning our marriage would be pushed back at least two years. Truthfully, this does not come as a shock to me; she is into community service and is currently living overseas and is already planning to spend next summer abroad as well (which I have no issue with, and I know she is/will be faithful to me). I just can't stand the though of being without her for years at a time. I really do want to marry this women and start a life with her, but I don't want to ask her not to go. Going with her isn't an option at this point. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (29 April 2006):
 Tell him how you sfeel and discuss it together
byeee for now iam going off to have anap iam exhausted
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2006): If working overseas is something that really does mean a lot to her, then you're right, it wouldn't be right to ask her not to go. Maybe you could find out how much it does mean to her. Tell her you would love for her to stay, but you know she wants to go and you respect that. You need to ask yourself, "is this relationship worth waiting for?" Would you be willing to spend four years waiting to marry her? You wouldn't necessarily even have to wait that long. Things could change, and you could end up being with her a lot sooner than you thought. Maybe you can't go with her right away, but what about after you save up some money or do whatever it is that you need to do? It wouldn't be impossible to go visit her either. If you kept in close contact with her, I'm sure it would make things much easier. You can always call her and write her. Figure out what's important to you, and what's important to her. This is the key to making your decisions. I know I can't tell you what you should do, but I hope I got you started on the right path (or any path for that matter). I really hope things work out for the best for you and her. I wish you the best of luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2006): Spending years apart is not really a good recipe for success especially not in the early years of marriage. Are you sure this is what she really wants? I have just come out of a relationship with a guy who kept saying things about going away for ages but it was just a test. He just wanted to see how I would react i.e if I loved him enough to beg him to stay. My take on it was that if he wanted to do something, I wasn't going to try to stop him. I would never expect anybody to compromise their personality for love. I'm not saying this is the case for you and she probably really wants to go so I think you need to think about the future. If she is so set on travelling the globe alone and you are set on staying home are you really that suited? Do you want to be raising children when you live thousands of miles apart?
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