A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just to forewarn you- this is a long story and I'm gonna break into three parts.O.K recently I have somehow manage to lead on three different guys and I'm really confused about my feelings.Guy 1: I met him around September 2007 and in November he told me he "liked" me. At first I wasn't sure how I felt, but a few days before Christmas I decided to give it a try. We was together for a year, through ups and downs and I really loved him so much. However for a month before it was over we started falling apart, I felt like the friendship was fading and I started flirting with other guys, including guy 2 and a few days before the end guy 3. We agreed to have a break and theres still so much love between us but I dont want to be in a comitted relationship at the moment. He's still my absolute best friend.Guy 2: guy 2 Is a friend of guy 1s who I met at school. At first we really didn't get on but recently we've got closer as we've found out we both had troubled childhoods and I was helping him through a tough break up. We'd often play flirted but on Christmas day he told me through text that he loves me. I was confused because I have really strong feelings for him aswell. The day after I broke up with guy 1 I met up with guy 2 so I could have a good cry however it ended in us kissing. I dont regret what felt really right at the time although I think it was a comfort thing despite the fact the same thing happened again a few days later. I really like him and he's helped me through alot but I dont feel like I want a committed relationship.Guy 3: ive only met guy 3 recently, a few days after christmas. It was one of those instant attraction kinda things and it didn't take long for us to be flirting or for me to have attained his MSN. Intact only the second time we'd spoken did it finish in kissing and a little bit more. I know its stupid to act like that with someone I hardly know and I worry that's partly the attraction- doing something I know I shouldn't. I really like this guy as well but I wonder if its in more of a physical way because I can only know him so wellafter just over a week of knowing someone.I dont know how to feel about anything because I'm just so stressed out. I'm stressed about college deadlines and because ive recently been referred to a mood disorder specialist (we suspect I'm bi-polar). I dont want to hurt anyone and I know if I carry on like this I will.Help me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, oktexchic  +, writes (7 January 2009):
Develop character, be honest & authentic, humble, seek truth, stay in balance, drinking water, eat well, get rest, & focus on your tasks. The best mood disorder specialist I know is Jesus & the Word of God. The Bible will guide you in how to live.
Playing your games will lead to destruction & unhappiness. What you seek, you become. Seek Christ to become Christlike. That will lead to a rich, fulfilling life. Get into a Bible believing church w/Godly women to counsel & mentor you. Look at those women you'd like to be like one day. What are their character traits? how do they live their life? Why are they so joyful & complete?
The answer is not on which man you should "pick". Men that go for the flirty girl are looking for quick fixes too. Ask any guy & they will tell you .. one thing on their mind, and if you give in, it will be harder to have the deep intimate relationship everyone longs for. What kind of a man do you want to marry one day? What is his character like? Is yours good enough to be noticed by this type of man?
I did all this when I was young too. It got me nowhere .. fast. What's the point? Do not waste your youth on what seems fun & games like I did. Start working on yourself now. That'll keep you busy & you won't have to think about guys who don't have it together themselves.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (7 January 2009):
 Someday you will know that all this stress and complexity was just immaturity and that you are now trying way too hard to be all grown up, but sorry, you are not yet a grown woman with all her wits in place. Before you hate me for my implied insight and rate me a terrible Agony Uncle, please realize that I was just as clueless about such things myself about 45 years ago.
We all go through those raging hormone years and everything seems so serious and traumatic, but most of us eventually learn to focus on potential love mates who are really our types rather than long shots. My suggestion is to relax, have some youthful fun and do not expect that every cute or attractive guy you meet is your lifelong prince charming. Most of them will be toads at best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Ok,
this is actually quite simple if you think about it.
Be honest, with them and with your self.
from what i have understod you do not want a commited relationship. so from that base forget both guys 1 nd 2 because those are in search of love, and a relationshiop of caring.
due to your college deadliens and all, it is very suggestale to you being single, caus eyou cn concentrate on your studies and all. but at the sam time you want t have your fair of fun.
so stick with guy number 3, but contrl yourslef cause you would not want to have a reputation around there right? take it easy, have a few occaisional hook ups but nothing mor. Also caus,e if you give the guy everything at once he will grow bored of you.
Then, with the other two explain what happened. that with college apps and all you have been busy and have no time for a relationship. be honest with them, even if it hurts. its better to hurt them honestly and then hurting when you knew that sooner or later you wowuld if you get what I mean.
hope it helped..good luck!
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