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Can't afford to pay for someone else's kids!

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Question - (21 April 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years now and have a 20month old son! he has 3 children from a previous relationship! his 3 children come and stay on a saturday/sunday and have dinner etc. I am trying to be supportive and understanding with my partner about the situation we are both unemployed and are struggling with money! we have both been looking for work but nothing ever comes up! the problem is i just cant afford to pay for the food for his children! money is a big roblem in the house but i want my partner to understand that i cant give him money i havent got for his other children when i barely get enough to keep us! do you think i sound selfish? please help as i want my boyfriend to know that i do care and love him but cant support him financially no matter how minor it is! please help xx

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (22 April 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntYou are not selfish. It is survival .It is very sad reading your plight.I hope that you will find employment soon

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010):

You two need to bring the ex into it. I know that sucks, but she is probably not aware of your financial situation. If everyone is being mature and responsible, which it sounds like you all are, than she will understand and make accomodations to work with you. Those are his kids and he has the responsibility to support them, no question! And indirectly they are your responsibility because you accepted them along with him. But life happens, and we all know that. The ex will work with you, you just have to suck up your pride and tell her that you are struggling. Good luck with the job search!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010):

the money you get from the government is the minimum it requires to have a certain standard of living, i.e. food, clothing, etc.. not luxuries.

You recieve a set amout for each person.

When your boyfriend finds work then he will be able to support his children as he should be doing.

until then (and i do understand what you are saying), would it be possible to buy food that can go further?

i find that making food from scratch is alot cheaper.

vegetables, specially potaoes and chicken can be made to go along way. and also healthier for the children than ready meals and processed food.

i too have my husbands children at weekends, we do not have money to spend on them but we do shower them with love and whatever else we can give them.

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