A
female
age
36-40,
*olovley
writes:Hi, I would love an objective view of my relationship so some advice would be great. I have been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years. He is a great guy and is perfect for me in everyway. I honestly do not feel I could find anyone better when it comes to all the stuff that matters. The problem is he CANNOT communicate with me.He rarely really confides in me, but he doesn’t seem to do this with anyone. When something big happens in my life he seems to tire of the story really quickly, but when something happens in his life I care enough to ask, so we end up focussing on him a lot more than we would ever focus on me. He rarely tells me I look well, (I sometimes feel this is an insecurity on his part, I might be deemed more attractive) or genuinely asks me how things are. He really is one of the most special people in my life but I am worried that my love for him is clouding the fact that it’s not a good relationship. He is quite self involved as he had quite an unusual upbringing as he was the only child on the scene for a long time and loves attention, and all eyes on him. I come from a big family and really value sharing. I guess my question is can you be with someone who does not communicate fully with you and put you first? Or should I just except the fact that it’s just not one of his best qualities and we should be separate people? My self esteem isn’t the highest. I have really worked on it as I’ve gotten older and I don’t want be in a relationship that constantly makes question myself about my looks the fact I might be boring. He doesn’t do explicit things to make me feel this way, but the lack of interest or complacency that makes me feel this way. I would love your help in finally making the right decision. Thanks x s
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): You Can...but it's not a very happy existence! A couple in a serious relationship...should always put one another first...before anyone or anything! Period!
Complacency can kill a relationship.
You could try talking to him (what do you have to lose?)
You sound like you are on the verge of throwing in the towel...so have the talk before you make your final decision. As Denny said, the fear of losing you may wake him up! He may not realize how you are feeling. Give him a chance to redeem himself!
Good Luck!
Britt
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