A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend of 2 years have been on the rocks for a while now. Wholly because has severe insecurities and can't trust me at all. It is ripping us apart, he questions everything i do. Lately i have resented him for this because i am not untrustworthy, and he doesn't accept that these are his insecurities. But last week i decided, i was going to REALLY try and be the best girlfriend i know i can be. I did all i could to show him how much i cared, i left him little notes just saying how much i loved him, was supportive if he did not call back cos he was busy with uni work and i checked up on him to make sure his work was going well and let him know i am proud of him and knew he would do really well.I was proud of myself because even though he makes me suffer because of his insecurities i rose above it and really treated him well, and then he threw it in my face. He started treating me bad because he is jealous that i have male friends at work.Now he broke up with me because he doesn't like that and says he cant trust me. i dont want to break up, i feel so depressed right now. I just want him here with me, i tried to call and he just said no i dont want to be with you because you lie to me, which i dont :-(i dont know what to do, i want to be with him but can it work if he doesnt trust me? I try so hard to prove myself to him but it goes unappreciated :-(
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): I'm really sorry you are going through such a rough time, it must be horrible to be accused of lying and it must seem like the break-up is for no good reason. But it sounds like you have done your best to show him that you can be trusted and it's great that you have tried but not given up your friendships. Unfortunately you can't fix this problem because it is in his head and not based on how well you behave or how loving you are towards him. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but unless he is willing to recognize or deal with his trust problem you are probably better off taking some time to heal and finding someone with more manageable insecurities. Good luck.
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