A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex broke up with me a cpl of weeks ago and its been up and down more than ever before. We was together almost 7 months so the initial break up was really hard for me at first. As days go by the pain seems to weaken which is a BIG relief. One of the things that was never weak in our relationship was the sex. He was an AMAZING lover. Very well in doubt down there and I was very satisfied everytime I was with him. I have to admit its one of the things I miss the most. I havent been with anyone sexually since him (it just wouldnt be the same) and I have to admit in the back of my mind I wish I could have just one more night with him. Last night we was talking on the phone when I asked him if we was still friends. He made the comment well what kinda friends and not thinkin I said uhh any kind of friends. Thats when it all started. He persisted on asking what I thought about friends with benefits? I told him I would seriously have to think about that. I want to, just because I miss him in that way but i dont cuz Im afraid it will keep me attached to him in which ill never be able to move on. Do you think it would bring us closer again, or only make it wierd? I need help.
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female
reader, xemily06x  +, writes (12 October 2007):
hey...im in a very similar situation with my ex. It has been over 3 months since we have broken up, and we still hang out alot...and it usually ends in us kissing etc.
At the time it is great, because i guess, it feels like we never spilt up...and everythings still 'right'. Yes it has kept us close, and for us personally it isnt awkward or anything. So if you just want abit of fun...then friends with benifits is perfect.
At first i thought this 'agreement' was great: i get to keep a close bond with a cool guy, have sex, but not have the stress that is attacted to a relationship. But, you cant suddenly stop your feelings for someone, and suddenly stop loving and caring for them. You realise that you want to just cuddle up with him and watch a film, go out for a meal and go for walks...but then you realise that your not in a relationship, he wants the sex.
I think that i saw being 'friends' as an easy way to ease the heartache that i was feeling. I would have done anything to be close to him...
Basically...its your choice what you do. Stay 'friends' with the risk of being hurt IF you stay emotionally attacted.. Or (the more harder option) walk away....he may then start to miss you.
as they say...you dont know what you got till its gone ;)
good luck xxxxxxxx
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (12 October 2007):
You would just be using him and it might make it difficult for you to find a new lover.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): Closer again? As in a committed dating relationship? Dear, you are likely a nice, lovely woman and you are definitely worth having someone commit to you and love you back..Right? One can get "GREAT" sex anywhere if they look hard enough. It's even more fantastic when it's with a man that you share a deep committed love with. So unless, he comes back at you with an offer of a committed, caring relationship, I don't think you should even go the 'sex buddy' route. Quite often when nice, giving women, do this, they truly think they can handle the "sex-buddy" friendship. After all, it's just a fun, carefree, uncommitted, good, occasional roll in the hay. But deep inside her, she'll always wants more. So what happens when her emotions get the better of her?? Better yet, can you imagine the devastating pain and hurt, when he finds another woman, more worthy of his love and he dumps you, again. In a nutshell, this guy is playing you like a yo-yo. You will be his sex buddy when he feels lonely and needs some fun. But he doesn't have to work at a real, loving relationship. Remember, it's all or nothing or do you think you aren't worth that? You know you are. He's treating you poorly, he disrespecting you and he wants to 'use' you for his own self-serving sexual purposes. If you like being treated in such a way, then go for it. But the emotional price you will pay and what this will do to your sense of self-worth is simply not worth the pain. I think he's already let you know you aren't worthy of a genuine, respectful, love relationship with him...the minute he subtly suggested a 'sex buddy' friendship. That's plain, downright insulting. Remove the blinders, dear and give him "his walking papers...once and for all. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): Hi,
I think only you can answer that, He obviously misses it as much as you do but if he was that keen on sex with you why are you not still together, but i think that the possibility of you feeling more pain in the long run is high,
if nothing further comes out of it just sex how will you feel? I think you should move forward however painful that might be, there are bigger and better things out there!!
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (12 October 2007):
 Who is going to benefit from this arrangement? Not you, I suspect. You need to find someone that is totally committed to you only . . . no matter how "well endowed" or "well in doubt" they are down there. LOL.
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