A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been having feelings for a girl at work for some time now. We don't interact outside of work, I only see her there.The thing is I am not sure if I actually fancy her. I really like her, I think she's pretty and cool, but I don't feel any lust for her.I've tried fantasizing about her to see if I really want her, but it just doesn't work. However, when I am working with her, I feel excited and nervous, and I'm convinced that I love her, but what's up with the no sexual part?I think I like her romantically, but not sexually. Maybe its because I see her as too pure for me (I consider myself a pervert to be honest), and I like her because she is unattainable? She has a boyfriend, who happens to be a former colleague.Also, this has happened to me before with another girl. For two years I thought I was in love with her but I could never masturbate to her.I really don't want to fancy this girl, because if there's one thing I know, its unrequited love.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (6 May 2011):
 Well you've answered your own question.
She's too pure for my perverted mind and she is taken.
Taken means not for you, too pure means you should think of your pure women on pure thoughts. Place them across the table, at the theatre not in the bedroom. Be a nice guy is all.
Learn that the chase is not a race to the bedroom door.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 If she has a boyfriend, isn't this a moot question? She's taken, so whether you like her or not in a sexual way is irrelevant. I'd stop worrying about how you feel about her and focus on the fact she is taken. In fact, that may be exactly why you are experiencing this confusion. You know she's taken and therefore off limits.
Maybe you are afraid of the real deal, close intimacy with another person, and so you wind up sabotaging yourself by developing feelings for people who are unavailable. Ponder on that rather than try masturbating to her image in your head.
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