A
female
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anonymous
writes:Do people change? My boyfriend has lead a promiscuous past and I can't seem to get over it. He says he loves me and wants to marry me, and I believe him, but isn't it just a change of circumstances? In other words, if he weren't in love, wouldn't he just be doing the same things as he's always done? I mean, he's slept with over 100 women, the last one night stand was just before we got together. Has he changed for good or is he just waiting for another oppotunity? Can someones view of sex really change to the point where he's making love to me after all them one night stands? Thanks
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (27 September 2006):
 The past is the past and it makes us who we are today and who he is, is the person you love and want to be with,
you need to forget about his past and move on from it and accept that he loves you and wants to be with you.
His past could just be because he never met someone he loves and wants to be with therefore he continued to live a promiscuous life he has now met you and his views obviously have changed for him to commit to you and be in a relationship with you.
Hope this helped :o)
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (26 September 2006):
 I think the people who has been promiscous and leaves is less likely to do it again dear, you can be sure he loves you
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (26 September 2006):
 I think you need to leave his past in the past and make the best of what you have now. He can't change his past and you going over and over it doesn't change it either. You have to except the man that he is now and love him unconditionally. If you can't love him like this then why should he love you unconditionally. Have fun and enjoy being with the man you love, because people do change and you have to learn to not live in the past.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2006): Yes I believe that people can will change their 'promiscuity' behaviours with maturity, growth and finding the person they truely love. In his eyes...you are the one, he wants to commit fully to. But if you are having a huge problem with his past, then it's you, that needs to make the big emotional efforts and get beyond this. If your bf told you a brief summary (no details) of his past, you had a right to know. He was being honest and he's allowing you to make a safe, adult, good choice of whether you want to be involved with him, irregardless. If you've known this since the beginning, I also have to wonder why, why, why you let the relationship get this far, you are experiencing doubts about who he is and his past? have never had a problem with my partner telling me about his past. And he did have his wild days, let me tell you. I love him so I accepted him....as is. It takes an incredible trusting, loving relationship and self-assurance on the part of both people, to openly talk about past experiences. It can be a great way to learn more about each other. It gives you each a sense about what you liked and didn´t like about the partners, what they did and didn´t do that made you happy. It´s a great learning exercise to help understand why you are the way you are now, and what you would like to be happy. That's the upside to talking about past lovers. However, not everyone is that conducive to openess and way too much sexual details can be a bit overwhelming. Both of you should leave the past where it belongs and keep being open, be straightforward...talking openly about everything in your relationship, can make the bond between you both stronger.
If this continues to bug you just rationalize this out and think...if he's been an trusting, honorable, loving, good man up to this point-is thinking about really worth the pain and sorrow it will cause? I'm sure you want to keep this relationship growing and getting more wonderful. Just both be proud and gracious to be sharing your lives with each other. Only you can choose which way that will be the healthiest way to continue conducting your relationship. Good luck and I wish you both well.
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