A
male
age
36-40,
*ndywa21
writes:hi, Me and my ex split in October of last year; we split because i found out that she was stealing from my mum. I confronted her and she denied it. She ran off to her mums with our 1 year old little girl and said i couldn't see her again so i went over to her mums ended up assaulting her step-dad and have been convicted of assault.Now i have joint custody of our daughter but just recently have been in contact with my ex and we both still have feelings for each other.questions:one: can i trust hertwo: how can i make it work this time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): If you two are going to get back together, then take each day at a time. Dont plan into the future. Let her know that you are not going to tolerate this kind of behaviour. Until you two are a proper couple again, then dont tell either side of the family until you are well back on track. But you need to set some guidelines and the next time (if it happens) she thieves off anybody, then you two are over and you go to a solicitor and get proper custody of the child or visiting rights. Dont put up with it. But sorry, i think some people just never change, so good luck.
take care
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): first of all how do you know that she wont do it again?
Secondly you need to think of your little girl and what sort of situations you will be putting her in, by getting back together because if it goes sour then you will be confusing her.
But if you really think it will work, then go for it. Lifes too short.
Whatever makes you and your child happy, then i would advise you to go for it.
Hope this helps x
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A
female
reader, Listen Louise +, writes (28 January 2008):
1. You can always learn to trust again but it is always questionable when someone you trusted most, hurt you. When she had the opportunity to tell you the truth she didnt which I believe makes it worse, but then again if it was the other way round would you want to tell someone you love the truth knowing it would really hurt them? so in a way she didnt want to hurt you which is a positive thing. I think you need to find out why she did steal the money, was it for your baby, food, going out or something else?? I think if it was an honest reason then you could learn to trust, just take things slow and make sure you are both aware of each others feelings.
2. Like above I would take things slow, when you really love someone its always hard to let go and to know when to let go but if you are both willing to give it another go then I would suggest you do. Be honest with her and tell her how you felt when you found out she had stole the money and how she had crushed your trust and explain it will take some time for you to trust her again, she will then need to make sure she is honest with you at all times to gain this.
Then hopefully you can both move on from this and become a family you both want.
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