A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need advice from ladies whose boyfriends or husbands are in the army! My boyfriend is considering a career either in the army or as a fireman although I think he would prefer the former. While I am supportive of whatever choice he makes, I can't help but worry about his safety. Choosing the army means a future of deployments and barely meeting up and the possibility of losing his life. Although we just got together not long ago we talk about marriage and family and should he choose the army it'd be hard for him to have a family of his own. On the other hand, a fireman would ensure that he has more stability in his life (since he doesn't have to leave the country) albeit there's also a possibility that he might lose his life (that possibility's way lower compared to army). I did ask his priorities in life and he said family and work. He's unsure of what he really wants and if the decision he makes will enable him to fulfil both priorities. I want to know how ladies whose beaus are in such professions view this thing. Guys opinions are welcomed too!
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (23 May 2012):
I'm married to a man in the military. We've been together for over 3 years now. And it can be difficult. Sometimes he's away for work for a few weeks, a few months at a time. He hasn't been deployed yet, but I'm expecting that he will be at some point. Other times he will be away for training. We will have to move to wherever he gets stationed to, leaving my family and friends. My job will always come second. I'll likely be living in a place where I don't know anyone at first. Being a military wife isn't easy and it isn't for everyone. Yes, the danger is part of it when he is deployed, but even without that, there is the fact that there is lots of things in life that no longer will be under your control. Who knows how many birthdays and anniversaries he will miss? Maybe he will miss a baby's birth.
What his intentions and priorities are will make a big difference though. What sort of job will he want in the army? Will it be something more dangerous and that will take him away more? Or will he be content to have a desk job and not deploy as much? Before my husband met me, he intended to deploy as much as possible. But since then, he knows how important it is to be there for me, so he has put family first, and not requested to be deployed.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 It is by far more dangerous to drive a car than it is to join the army. A life in a boring office job will not make him immortal you know. He could die just as quickly as he could if he works in the army, if he happens to drive to and from work.
I had a boyfriend who was thinking about doing a military career, I though it sounded very scary as well.
The part about family life is another thing though. Again, I believe this all comes down to priorities. You can have any job, and not prioritize having a family. Or you can be in the army, and have a family. It wont be easy, but who said having a family was easy anyway?
I think that if the two of you want it, you can have it. All it takes is willpower.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 May 2012):
 My husband had been in the Army for little over 20 and we have been together for 15 of those.
So it wasn't MY choice but his :) He loves his job, most days and some days he really hates it too. There has been a lot of missed birthdays, anniversaries and other events due to the military, but over all it's been a fairly good life for us, with him in the military.
Maybe he could go talk to a recruiter? I'm not sure how the Army "works" in your end of the world :) But that is where I would start. And perhaps talk to some of the guy who works as firemen.
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