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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: My husband is driving me crazy.I don't know what is wrong with him. He says he loves me, but I don't feel it. He is not looking at me with desire, and he never wants sex. He is impotent, but not medically. He can have night erections, but not able to get one with me. He says , I should trust him... But , I can't .... I really think, we tried everything. We are living in this dilemma at the last few years. I really want to hold onto my marriage. But I can't see to be strong enough to carry on. I really didn't want this to happen, but I have no choice left...We don't do anything else together, as he is working all the time. I don't know what to do. We went for therapy, he seems very closed. Nothing works really. I'm not giving it up too early, but can I go on like this for an other 20 years? He is not treating me bad, but I feel he has an issue, and I can't do anything more to get this fixed? Should I leave? What do you think?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 March 2009):
Well if you are seriously considering leaving I think you should tell him that and it may make him consider therapy a bit more.
Men sometimes will hide from a problem and say things like "trust me" and "it'll be fine" because they want it to be fine but aren't actually willing to do anything about it.
If you tell him you are unhappy because of his lack of willingness to try and solve the sex problem, and because you never go out together and he fobs you off again you can say "no, that's not good enough because you always say that and nothing changes, so I am leaving."
It might shock him into taking you and putting a bit of romance back into the marriage, and you never know, that might help the other problem too. When was the last time you dressed up and went out with him and had a really good laugh? If you do that he might start seeing you as the woman he fell for again, rather than just his housemate?
If he's not willing to do anything then you can walk away knowing you tried to make him make it work.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, ~AgonyAuntLaure~ +, writes (25 March 2009):
 If there is nothing else you can do and feel left out and it seems as if you have tried talking to him but with no success, then yes you should leave. You are not supposed to be just left there like an old pair of trousers you should be loved by him and not feel like you are hanging onto your relationship for no reason!
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