A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend and i broke up in october of 09' a month later he was dating another girl he left her for me about 3 months into their relationship then went back to her. He then left her for me 6 months into their relationship and then went back to her again. Then again at 11 months into their relationship he left her for me again. The last time he left her for me at around their 11 month mark was the longest time he had left her for me it lasted about 2 months. Each time he left her we didnt have sex or anything he isnt that type of guy. We just hung out when we could and talked on the phone every night. This last time his girlfriend contacted me and said are you guys talking? and i didnt know what else to say so i said yes. Since then my ex and i have not communicated because she got caught by her and decided to back with her. This was 4 months ago in Sep. of 2010. He is now still currently with her even though i hear from mutual friends that they fight all the time and that she treats him like a dog but he begs, pleads, and needs at her every move.His friends recently have been saying how pathetic he is acting. Whenever she says she doesnt want to be with him anymore he says things like "i have nothing left only with you everything is right" and "i'll always fight for you" the most recent thing he said was "She's my only purpose everyday, my only drive in life, my other half her happiness is everything" This to me doesnt sound like he is in love or happy it doesnt like desperation and neediness. Anyway, now that you have background information my question really is that. Ever since him and i broke up in Oct of 09' i have not truely moved on i have hoped he would come back or wondered what it would be like if he had another shot and every guy that came along i just didnt like because they werent what i wanted. Its now 2 months into 2011 and i've read things like to truely get an ex back you have to move on from them and focus on yourself. Each time he would come back i would readily go back to him and talk to him whenever he would contact me i realize now that this was the wrong thing to do. And i realize that for a whole year i was focused on hoping he would come back i wasnt improving myself or working on myself everyday i was just doing the same thing going to school, but i was sad because he didnt contact me, i wasnt being happy and doing new things and having a great time and i wondering why each time he came back it never lasted because i hadn't fully moved on from him and i hadn't focused on myself enough to bring a new a revived me to the table. I dont really want him back at this point, its a new year i want(and need) a new me, a happier me, a more confident me, i want to get myself back and have people be attracted to me again(him included), the thing i really want is not neccessarily to get my ex back or win him back its for him to want me again like he wants his current girlfriend now like he cant live without her, does anyone else believe that the only way to accomplish this is to fully move on and become a better person?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011): Don't worry about his feelings or his life any more. Worry about your self and how happy you are not being with someone like him anymore. If you keep consistently take him back whenever he wants a break from the girl hes with now.. than he knows he can have you whenever he wants. Don't be a silly girl that keeps getting fooled..Be strong and fearless. Also try your best to not involve yourself with people who associate with him because the last thing you need to hear is your EX misses you. Of course he does hes only realizing it more because hes UNHAPPY with his relationship now and with you it was a lot simpler and carefree right? Good Luck and remember to not be a fooled girl. Xoxo
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