A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear allTo summarize, a girl i like may be losing interest. what should i do?I met this girl online 15 days ago, she lives about 1 hour away. we did not meet via a dating website, she chose to contact me as she had just moved to the area.We spoke a lot on days 1-10, every day. we agreed we would meet up in person as soon as she had a free day. she seemed to like me very much, i dont know if that was romantic interest or she just liked me as a person. either way, we got along great. On day 11, she didn't reply to me. so i thought that's fine, she fell asleep and can reply on day 12. Day 12 she read the message and no reply.So on day 13 i send another just asking how her day was, noting too heavy. and she replied, said sorry for forgetting to reply and we spoke again for a while, she seemed really nice as always and interested in talking with me. then stopped replying quite early again, maybe went to bed.She sent me a message on day 14 at 7am, saying good morning, really long and nice message. I replied, she replied with a shorter message as she said she was busy, but it was still a nice message. I then replied at 1pm and she didnt read the message that day.now day 15 she read yesterday's message and no reply. (she could reply later, there is still time, but given the fact these take a few hours to go online i will write this presuming she does not reply and has forgotten again).Background infoShe has 2 jobs and regularly works 10 hours a day. This week she has a slightly different rota to usual. so she could be busy, or just not want to spend her few free hours talking to me. However I am more than used to women being interested in me for a while then losing interest, so i wondered what i could do to avoid that.My plan is to just wait until she replies, not send another message and when she does i will try to arrange a meet.is that a good idea? What can i do to save the situation if she is losing interest? I know i could move on, plenty of fish in the sea etc but just presume for a moment that i want to have one last shot at this before moving on.and also, what can i do to stop this happening again in the future with someone else?or am i just being unreasonable expecting contact to remain the same as before?Thank you
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male
reader, married 21 years  +, writes (30 September 2015):
"However I am more than used to women being interested in me for a while then losing interest, so i wondered what i could do to avoid that."I would like to address that: Have you ever had a real relationship, face-to-face? I'm older and I'm watching young people meet on line and have long term passionate relationships with others. So virtual dating is a real deal now. I think texting can over sensualize common conversation and trigger the brain chemistry dramatically! Which would make you overestimate your virtual relationships with girls. Girls function on out-of-sight-out-of-mind. They are eventually more interested in what's standing in front of them. Got to get physical sooner or later. Girls also love the attention you are giving them by your OCD texting. Their imagination can run while your are not in their presence. And likewise your imagination is running and the brain is releasing lots of dopamine, ocytocin, vasopressin, and norepinephren. So what to do: don't smother a woman. Although they will like the initial intense attention, they will tire of your doting. They will wonder if you even have a life. Better to back off and let them initiate. That will show you who is really interested in you and not just being "nice." Avoid being OCD brother!Hope that helps!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 September 2015):
 Why not send he another message, suggesting you two find a time/day for a meet up and since she is the one who works a lot - leave the ball in her court to give you time/date.
IF she doesn't reply to that... move on.
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