A
female
age
36-40,
*arrie_m
writes:I recently got very very drunk and cheated on my boyfriend.I hardly knew the guy or what was going on at the time, there were no emotional feelings whatsoever, he had a girlfriend too and we were both pretty embarrassed in the morning.I went home to find my boyfriend in tears, certain I'd got myself in trouble when I didn't come home. I felt really, horribly bad and told him what had happened and to my surprise, he was so grateful I was alive he just said that he forgave me and I should never do it again.I felt horrific at the time, but now I literally cannot deal with the guilt. I just feel so horrible about what I've done to him and what this means about me as a person.He has also started referring to it and saying I'm a nasty person and owe him whenever we have a slight disagreement or I do something he doesn't like, so he obviously is really hurt by the incident.From other peoples' experience, can both parties actually get over cheating? Will I stop feeling guilty and will he actually ever be able to forgive me? If it was the other way around I would have broken up with him, so I just can't understand why he wants to stay with me at all.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): If you really value the relationship then the two of you go get some counselling. You're very unlikely to work this out yourselves.
Yes, both parties can get over cheating but it isn't easy. Essentially you have to concentrate on your actions now and doing things that show your commitment to him and the relationship. He has to learn to judge you based on on your actions SINCE the encounter, and not judge you based on just that encounter.
These things take time and usually need expert guidance.
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