A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've known this man for almost 3 years now (he's almost 40). We broke up so many times but always got back together(I want to believe that he's a nice guy deep down and we have a strong connection). Last time I broke up with him because I was returning to school and I just didn't want to deal with the drama while I'm in school... but we remained online friends(that's it)I know that he likes attention from different girls all the time and he plays with girls online every day(he really likes finding girls from other countries... flirting with them and trying to get them to come here and visit him), what puzzles me is that he does this totally in the open, for me and every other girl to see. I can understand why he may not care if I see his because he is obviously mad that I stopped seeing him but what I don't understand is that he is not afraid that the other girls will too see this and get mad? Is he only playing them one at a time and as long as he has one he doesn't care about the other women's feelings? Can anyone please explain this type of male behavior to me please and thank you:)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (10 April 2009):
 Male behaviour or just bad behaviour? Honestly, this man sounds terrible. He has an ego-problem with narcissistic tendencies - he needs that ego attended to through other women. His attention seeking seems to have gotten way out of hand, but I suppose the internet is a big temptation for him - he can say anything to any of those women after all. I think if he is 40 and acting like this it is a good explanation for why he is still single. He doesn't care about those other women and their feelings, or your feelings, because he likes himself a lot and his way of dealing with your rejection of him is to try to get girls to see him. He also needs the attention of other women to keep himself feeling good about himself on those lonely nights. You got to remember you broke up with him in the past (a lot). There was a reason for that - the relationship was not working and you have reasoned that he is a good guy deep down to justify why you keep running back to him. You have moved on with your life now with college etc, and it is probably time you cut ties with this man so you can find someone nicer. You have seen him for the player he is, and if that is not acceptable to you then move forward with your life and forget about him. YOu so obviously deserve better!
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