A
female
age
41-50,
*hannat
writes:I have been with my man for 7 years now and we have a beutiful 2 year old daughter but for about a year now we have argued practically every time we are together, he is a full tome chef so we very rarely do get to spend alot of time together. I love him so much but lately he has started being very horrible to me, he keeps splitting up with me and then a few days later he'll come round and expect us to be friends he even still has sex with me so as you can imagine I am very confused. we have lived together but that didnt work so he moved into his own place and we got on great for a while but now he is just mean,he has always been very selfish and stubborn, he never talks to me even about important things like his dad having cancer or considering moving away from us to work in france his mum has to tell me!! we are adults at 31 and 25 so he should be man enough to work through this with me but he just continues to build up walls. I feel like I am the only 1 making any sort of effort even though he tells me he does want us sorted and good again he doesnt try to help me make it work, I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown and have never felt so heartbroken please advise. . . how do I get him to open up or should I just give up on the love of my life??
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): By giving up and letting go and stopping trying to convince him to correct him or to change him, he will either change on his own or he will disappear.
He sounds like a complete jerk to me and he is not taking care of any of your needs, he isn't being a friend to you....get out of there. Take your daughter and move if you have to. I know it is scarey being without him, but you have tried, you have told him how you feel and he just doesn't seem to care and now he is being mean to you.
Get your self esteem back get a back bone and get away from him. Show him you are a woman of value and that if he wants to be around you and his daughter, he needs to grown up and be a man for YOU.
Focus instead on yourself...live your life, don't stop being who you are, living your passions for this guy who is killing your spirit....you following him around and worrying and asking people what to do is not going to get you what you want, only YOU can do that for you....forget him......and then see if he isn't motivated to clean up his act.
But don't wait on him. He isn't your husband, date other, nicer men and put your daughter first, and take care of her. All this fighting I hope is done away from her, as children don't deserve to live in a loveless home among waring adults....it is not good for her, it changes who she is forever......and you don't want that for her.
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