A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can a person be provoked to a point that they physically abuse someone else? I have been wondering about this if just the abuser can say that provocation led them to do it. What you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, alice3  +, writes (19 June 2007):
What research that has been conducted on intimate partner violence (IPV) shows, is that people (both women and men, but men abuse at disproportionately higher rates than women) do not respond well to counseling or batterer treatment. What I mean is, they do it again. And again. And again. Even after they've attended intense treatment. So, if your question is a personal one, as difficult as it may be, you should walk away. The other way. Try not to look back. It's likely that the physical abuser uses other ways to dominate and control, such as threatening, giving advice/commands about what to wear, putting you down to establish a dominant position, etc. A "batterer" is not just an abuser, he is a person who has a defective way of coping with anger and strong emotions. The batterer will likely make great strides to convince the person they've abused that they'll change. This is rarely the case. Physical abuse is never the answer. It also never happens just once. Get out. It's not going to change. And we have plenty of research and dead/mamed women to prove it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): Yes, just about anyone can be provoked to violence. That doesn't make it ok to strike or kill another. Being able to recognize that your being pushed to harm another and walking away from the situation or otherwise doing whatever you can to control yourself is what makes you better than the other person.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): Hi love, I suppose anyone could provoke someone to want to hit them but that doesnt make it right, plus if you are with someone who is telling you that its your fault they hit you as you provoke them, that is also not right any form of abuse should not be tolerated. Hope that helped love xx
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (18 June 2007):
 (At least that's how passion crimes work in the US, not sure about Canada...)
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (18 June 2007):
Hello Anonymous,
"Can a person be provoked to a point that they physically abuse someone else?" Yes, but that doesn't make it right or even legal. If someone has said something that makes you so upset, then that's when it's time to turn around and walk away for a breather. If they physically will not let you leave, that's something else. Trying to push them out of the way is something totally different. But if they hit you first, then your reaction would be self defense.
So, while the person can say they were provoked into physically abusing someone, it would rarely hold up legally. (I say rarely, because passion crimes are apparently different than other phyiscal abuse/murder crimes.)
I think if the person is using the excuse of "he provoked me!" then that person better sign up for some counselling sessions to learn how to control him/herself before more damage is done (to either party involved).
Take care.
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A
female
reader, cbreinig +, writes (18 June 2007):
I think that you can provoke someone to hit. But there are times when the person is provoked by others to hurt you or they are hurting so much inside from what they have done that they can and will abuse even though it would not be in their nature.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 You can provoke somebody to hit you I suppose by winding them up but I don't think someone can claim they abused somebody because the person provoked them.
That is an interesting question and I'm sure people have used that excuse before.
xxxxxxx
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