A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I can't tell if this guy is interested or not? He says he's busy (he's a Dr, we're both late 20s).I met him through friends just over a month ago but people have been trying to set us up for months, saying he has seen me around, been asking about me and wanted to meet me etc. Anyway, we really hit it off when he joined a group of us on a night out. As soon as I got home that night my friends were all calling telling me how into me he was and I added him on facebook. He responded within 10 minutes and we chatted for a while before he said he had to go to sleep as he had to be up at 6am.Then, no contact for a week, until friday night when I saw he was online and initiated chat. He said he was meeting some friends in a bar and invited me to join them in half and hour, also have me his number in case I couldn't find him. We chatted a lot,he kept touching my arm and smiling at me, his friends were nice and he hugged me as he dropped me home and said he would see me on sunday. On sat night something came up for the next day and I texted him to say I wouldn't be able to make our original time the following day but could he meet later. He didn't reply until the next morning, saying he had plans for the rest of the day. No other suggestion.Didn't hear anything for a full week again and thought that was it, when he texted me sunday morning to see if I was awake and going to church. We chatted after the service (at his instigation) and then he said he had to meet a friend. Early evening I texted him to see how his day was and he invited me to see the christmas lights switch on. We walked a round for a bit, went for coffee and chatted. He walked me home and we hugged (initiated by him). He told me he was working crazy hours at the moment but would be in touch.The next week I could see he was sometimes online but he never initiated any contact. I wanted to contact him but I thought if he's online then he knows I am and he's not speaking so I guessed he wasn't interested. Then on sunday night he texted me to ask if I was in the pub with my friends (a regular thing) and came and joined us. We chatted loads again, he seemed to be paying me loads of attention. He offered me a ride home, and also to a couple of my friends. Even though my house was closest he drove the others home first and took the long way back to my place. We chatted and laughed and he said again how busy he was and how much it sucked. He hugged me again when he dropped me off.The following week we were in touch everyday, by text or facebook chat, initiated by him 80% of the time. I felt like we were finally getting somewhere and on saturday night he was on facebook chat again. Asking how my day was and saying he was so, so tired and needed a day off etc but wouldn't get one for aother 7 days. We chatted for a bit and then he signed of with 'x'. He had never done this before.But now it's wednesday night and I'd heard nothing until he popped up to say hi on facebook chat again at 10pm telling me he's got a new car and wants to take me for a spin. I sent him a text this morning, just to say hi, but he didn't reply. I know he's busy but I feel like if he really was interested he could make time to at least send a quick text to say hi. Or make some kind of plan to actually see me in person, especially as he lives 5 minutes walk from me. He seems to be taking the easy option with online chat. Should I wait it out or just let it go?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): You said he's been initiating contact most times, if you're not making the first contact very often he might feel the same way as you do, that you're not that into him. Or it might be the case that he doesn't want to scare you off by moving too fast.
You could try dropping hints that you want to meet up in person, then if he doesn't bite you should start thinking he might not be interested - it's only been a few days so it's too early to tell right now. You're right that junior doctors are really busy (I know a few!), and they can't get days off easily so he might just be burned out from work.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (10 December 2009):
 You don't have to wait or let it go...just go out and meet other guys. This guy is lukewarm about you...you want a guy who's hot for you. You seem to be an option to him...don't ever be an option.
He sounds somewhat interested but not enough for some reason. I doubt it's because of his busy schedule, that's not something that stops a man who really wants you. He's either not too interested or he's got other options going at the same time.
What you should do is not concentrate on him so much. And why is he chatting to you on FB? He's a Dr, he's in his late 20s...he's not a teenager.
I just think that you should not settle for a man who can't make the effort to spend the time with you. You should demand more. And if this guy can't come up with that, then you go off and find someone who can, because I'm sure there are plenty of men out there wanting to date you. Don't settle for bits and pieces from this guy.
Bottom line is...he's interested on some level but for some reason (other women or you're just not 'it' for him) he's keeping you on your toes and not giving you what you want.
Are you ok with that? Are you willing to 'wait' for someone like that?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): If his really into you hid make room for ya 100 percent in his work skedual becouse love comes first then work.
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