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male
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*hy guy
writes: I will be honest with you , i am a single 29 year old guy,very shy no friends and at the end of each work day including weekends i stay home i never go out to party. On Monday this girl walked on the train, our eyes met and she smiled at me. her stop was the same as mine, when i looked in the window to see her reflection she smiled at me as i look at her. when she turned to go another way she turned around with a smile and told me to have a nice day. which i responded back. Come Tuesday i actually waited for her, when she saw me she smiled again amd told me to have a nice day. i ended up tellling her i was waiting for her. which she was pretty shocked. so for 2 days i've been seeing her at lunch. but here is my problem, at lunch she is with her co-worker who is older and married, and she is not Single she has a flippin boyfriend. and i hardly say anything because i am shy. Honestly i need some advice. Guys in work are telling me she could be looking for another guy? and a older female friend is telling me i should end it because i am taking it as the wrong idea, which might hurt me. Should i ask her why she smiled like that at me, or should i except her just as a friend (she would be my only female friend). or tell her how i feel even though she has a boyfriend.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2006): I agree with Wendy. How great did you feel when she smiled at you? It feels nice doesn't it? :)
If she didn't have a boyfriend, things would be a different matter. Perhaps you could have taken things a little further and tried to establish a friendship.
But, with the boyfriend in mind, I think it's better to keep the distance and just feel pleased knowing someone smiled at you.
Use this as an experience to work on your shyness. It shows that people do recognise you and like you, and that you should be confident to smile at others - coz they'll probably smile back. I'm sure she doesn't smile at *everyone* - she probably liked your face, you probably seemed like a nice person. :)
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (27 July 2006):
 She was probably just being polite in smiling. I often smile at people here, male or female, I dont know them that well on a day to day basis but its friendly to smile at someone as we have to work together at some point. She would probably be open to a friend, but the fact she has already got a boyfriend probably means thats she not the open to another, if she were she wouldnt be with her boyfriend. Just take it that shes being polite, an you could be looking at it from the wrong angle because you like her. If she wanted to be more im sure you would know about it. I wouldnt ask her why she smiled at you as this might sound a bit wierd as it was probably just a passing smile rather than actually meaning anything. I would just accept her as a friend shes already taken and he just the polite type.
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