A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know where else to turn.I was with a guy for a year and 7 months.I'm 17. Hes 25. meaning I got with him when I was just gone 16. I believed I was mature enough to handle him, his daughter, and all his baggage. He cheated on me several times and the trust was lost.A very good guy friend was always on the scene but I wasn't interested. About two months ago while me and the boyfriend were on the rocks... the guy friend appealed to me so much. He asked me to a movie. We went. He ended up in my house that night. He held me all night. Something I hadn't experienced in a long time. He seemed to respect me a lot and on top of that he is only 20 years old. No baggage. I completely finished with my boyfriend for this guy, and all of a sudden, you guessed it... he seems to have completely lost interest. I did sleep with him but I assumed that he wasn't horrible and would still care about me. He did. He practically lived with me for a week after. Then all of a sudden one night when I went out I got really really drunk....He came out to see me after work. I was hammered. I started screaming at him saying he was only out to see his ex... He's been completely turned off me since then... We will still meet up and kiss all the time... but I want more.. He wanted the whole shebang but now he just wants to fool around... he has seen me in awful upset drunken states before but I don't know why this was different. What is the phsycology behind all of this??!! He used to text me every night saying how much he wanted me....How do I win him back? He's perfect and I'm realising it... and it hurts that he doesn't want me anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): Hey,I think that even though he saw you drunk before I am guessing he probably never thought you would become a raving drunk. Even though we sometimes don't realize it, it's a major turn off for guys to see a girl screaming at them about stuff they really have no clue what they're talking about. He probably still finds you attractive enough to mess around with but since he saw the way you handled yourself with the alcohol he probably doesn't want a "raving drunk" for a girlfriend. I think all you can really do is apologize for what you had done, tell him you realize what you had done was wrong and that you really appreciate what he thinks about you. That it bothers you that he may not like the way you handle yourself. Then I think you should probably lay off of the alcohol around him. If you really like him you should be willing to limit the partying to days you're not hanging out with him or meeting up with him.
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