A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone shed some light....My boyfriend finished with me a few weeks ago and since then we have continued sleeping with each other, i am still crazy about him and it was my fault we broke up, we argued a lot. It's obvious he still cares about me and there is a big attraction but he insists we wont be a couple again. Today we exchanged a few emails and he said that its a bad idea us sleeping with each other again. He admits he misses me and cares and loves us sleeping together, should i just give him his space as i think he's confused and he's not one for taking chances but i think i could persuade him. Please someone give me their opinion. thx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): Yes, stopping sleeping with him. You need to be stronger than him, because, after a day or two, he'll get horny, and go to you to get his rocks off. He's telling you he doesn't see you together as a couple; he's trying to be strong and honest, but, when he gets that itch, he'll be back. You need to be strong, and say that you'll see him for coffee in a few months, a cooling off period is needed. Give yoursleves time to meet new people. Thing is that he'll continue to sleep with you, until he finds someone new. Don't break up that way. I had the same experience, and kept sleeping with my ex, who was amazing in bed (wimper - I still miss her BJs), and a good person, until I finally met someone else. We both had the same conversations; i was honest like him, but weak, oh, so weak. We were good friends, too, and couldn't resist getting off together. So, be strong, and stay away from him. Meet someone who will love you, and respect you, not just want to get his rocks off with you. You both deserve better. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): I think you should stop. If you continue sleeping with him and then get back together again then some of that decision might be influenced by the sex. If you two stop sleeping together you can still decide to get back together again at some point based on you missing each other as people rather than being able to continue the sex.
Also you should consider how this might effect future relationships. I dated a girl who had done the same thing (stopped seeing a guy but then continued to sleep with him) and it upset me a lot. I realize this is somewhat of a stupid thing to be upset about but from my point of view I couldn't help but be upset. It made it a huge problem for me. She told me that she regretted it and felt cheap. It made me quite upset for some time.
If you two are meant to be then you shouldn't need to keep the sex going in order to find that out.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (23 March 2009):
 Breaking up can be very horrible but keeping the bedroom relationship up is deeply confusing and potentially hurtful to both of you. As painful as it is, you have to walk away from this man and accept it wasn't mean't to be. Basically you argued with him in the relationship for some reason and I don't believe it can be all your fault as nothing is ever that straight-forward. Being single and accepting that status after being a couple can take some adjustment, but hold in there and hopefully you will find someone else who is more suited to you.
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A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (23 March 2009):
 Yes, you should stop sleeping with him. Of course you two still have very mixed feeling about this breakup if you are still being so intimate.
Give him and yourself the space you need to try and get over each other. And if you can't and you want to get back together, then do so.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 March 2009):
 I think you should stop sleeping with him. In fact I would stop all contact. He will then be able to see what his life is like without you in it. Don't settle for less than the whole tamale.
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