A
female
age
26-29,
*o.diamond.ox
writes:So i guess i need advice? im 15 ME AND MY BOYFRIEND broke up a few weeeks ago. He might b goin to collage next fall and he said he might c me again this summer. :( i decided to stop calling and just wait untill hes ready.... We had a bad break up. I got drunk and he wasnt with me and mu other ex showed up and took advantage of me. My ex called it cheating on him? :( liieeee.. So we broke up. I dont know if hes missing me but any advice for me in the mean timee...? I really miss him and would like to get him back. :/ Id consider this an emergency situaTion
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female
reader, kedinburgh  +, writes (27 June 2011):
Hello
Aww you sound like you're really cut up over this, its okay, things are never as bad as they appear. Distance is a terrible thing to try an deal with, especially if you have been very close (i presume you and your bf live in the same town?) and especially if you've never had to deal with any sort of distance before. its natural to have paniced and split over it, that on its own is difficult. you were already in an emotional position when you got drunk, which lets face it wasn't of the best ideas, but whats done is done. you are sorry, i think its important your bf knows that even if you decide to go your seperate ways. but take a lesson from this don't get drunk when your ex is about, even if he turns up when you are already drunk don't spend time with him. advice for right now?? spend time with your closest girl friends, film and chocolate, get a good ngihts sleep and get your head together, we've all done silly things but life goes on.
Good luck
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (26 June 2011):
 He took advantage of you, as in he forced you against your will? Or were you just drunk and lost your inhibitions and he was there and went right with it? There is a difference.
From what it sounds like, you got drunk. You must have gotten drunk with your ex. I can't see that you were in your own house, got drunk, and all of a sudden the ex broke into your house and forced himself on you.
No way. You did cheat on your boyfriend with your ex. Why were you hanging out with your ex and getting drunk in the first place? Many guys do that with their ex-GF's and it's also considered cheating. You need to take responsibility for your actions. You're 15. Much too young for alcohol in the first place.
I don't think your boyfriend is coming back. You broke his heart by cheating with your ex. He also knows that he's much older than you and is leaving for college. Does he miss you? He might, but while the anger at your betrayal is fresh in his mind, his thoughts about you are only negative.
If your ex forced himself on you expressly against your will, that is date rape. However, it doesn't sound like that happened. Sounds like he took advantage of a moment of your weakness due to the dropped inhibitions caused by alcohol. Had you been sober, you might not have given in, but drunk, and all those feelings come up. That doesn't absolve cheating. If he raped you, you should call the police on him. However, regret does not equal "taking advantage" or rape.
Live with your decision. Let the BF go, and stay away from alcohol until you are mature enough to handle it.
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A
female
reader, xo.diamond.ox +, writes (26 June 2011):
xo.diamond.ox is verified as being by the original poster of the question I would wait for him as long as it takes. But im scared he'll cheat on me. I called like twice before but i dont want to sound desperate. I guess im just guna have to see what he wants. :/ Thanx for the advice tho :)
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