A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I've been dating my boyfriend for 10 months. He is in the Marine Corps and is currently on a deployment. He and I knew each other from high school, and have been good friends for years before we started dating. He had dated a girl for maybe three months (if that) in his freshman year of high school (over 6 years ago). When he landed in his base in the US after his first deployment last summer, (about a month before him and I started dating) he called her and said he still loved her. She said she didn't have the same feelings for him.. she strictly loved him as a friend. I actually found this story out from a friend of mine.. my boyfriend hadn't told me this on his own. I asked him about it and he said he was going to tell me eventually and he also told me that he still does love her but he cares for me a lot too. He said he hadn't thought about her in the same light since him and I started dating and that I make him very happy.I'm generally not the jealous type but I hate that he's still so close to her. We were sitting on the couch and he was texting her when he refered to her as "sweetheart". That's what he calls me! He also calls her "darlin" another name he calls me. He says he means nothing by it but I can't help but be really, really upset with that. He would freak out if I called one of my guy friends "love" as that's what I refer to my boyfriend as. I talk to him about every 3 weeks on the phone and write him a lot. I know this isn't something to bring up while he's in Afghanistan but it's something that keep comings back in my mind. I feel like he still really loves her and I'm just convenient as a girlfriend.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 May 2011):
 You're boyfriend isn't entirely over his ex and he's dating you. Should he really be in a relationship with you at the moment?
So unless you want to constantly play second fiddle to her, or even share your pet names with her..then I would break it off with him. He needs time to ACTUALLY get over his ex before he even thinks about dating again.
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