A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 5 years recently broke up with me. I was completly blindsided. I knew that we had been aguring for about a month, but he is a college football player and he was away at training camp. I thought when he came home everything would go back to normal. He was only home for 2 days when he broke up with me. He said that he was too stressed and felt too much pressure. A couple days after we broke up he told me that he just wanted some space and that we would work on it after that. I decided to give him the space that he wanted. I found out a few weeks later that he quit football and partys a lot. I called him to tell him I was proud of him for sticking with football as long as he did (he had two injuries the years before) and to see if he was dating other people. He told me he was talking to other girls but not hooking up with them. I asked him why he wanted to talk to other people when he told me i was the love of his life. He told me "boyfriends have to say those things". I havent called him in two weeks. I was so upset and mad. He called me a couple days ago (for the first time since we broke up) to ask for his jersey back. We started to argue and he told me that we would never be able to work things out if we cant even talk normally and hung up on me. Later that day I texted him to tell him I couldnt find the jersey and not to call me anymore and to leave me alone. He said "wow, why". I didnt respond and havent talked to him since.Its been a little over a month since we broke up, and while I am so hurt that he even broke up with me in the first place, and am assuming he is hooking up with other girls, I still love him and want him back. I dont know if I should call him or just give him time to miss me. What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso i found out through the internet that he is dating someone else and has been since at least two weeks after we broke up. its makes me sick. his mom confirmed it to me and then ha called me to tell me its true. he said they are more then friends but shes not his girlfriend. i told him if he keeps dating her that he is throwing away everything we had and could have in the future. he says that it wouldnt be fair to her if he stopped dating her now. i told him that nothing has been fair to me this whole time. he said that because i gave him space and didnt talk to him, he starting getting close to her. i thought i was giving him the space he wanted to hang out with his friends. when he called a week ago he told me there wasnt another girl, now all of a sudden there is. i have felt sick to my stomach ever since i found out.
A
female
reader, kickinp +, writes (3 October 2008):
Seems like he wants the cake and the icing too. Seems like he is keeping you at arms lenghts, so if something goes wrong your his "back up" plan". Listen, I have been with a few guys who have fed me lines like a pimp feeds a prostitute, and I dont know if there are any guys out there that are really like this (except in the movies.) But don't settle for him. It would be great if the shoe was on the other foot and you were telling him to chill, and he responded by telling you that he is not going to give up that easily, that he will fight for your love, everygirl deserves that. I know that is usually fictional, males are egotistical to go there. But even if you get back with him, you will be really happy at first, then you will start wondering why he broke it off, then decided you were convient for him again, guys suck, 95% would cheat if they were given the oppurtunity. I know how hard it is to let go, and by the sound of your message, I know you will take him back. In the end you are going to feel a bit insecure, and maybe like a spare tire. It seems like he is keeping you in a trunk cause you never know when a spare will come in handy! My motto is "fck em". Leave him before his ego tries to suck you in for his selfish fulfillments
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A
male
reader, Pointblank41 +, writes (3 October 2008):
Give him time to himself. There's an old saying, distance makes the heart grow fonder. If you keep calling him and talking to him it will make him think that he made the right decision. Give him a few more weeks to himself but if he doesn't contact you then you probably need to let it go and move on. If he starts missing you he will realize what he has done and will try to get back with you, if he doesn't contact you it means that he has moved on.
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A
female
reader, Misguided  +, writes (2 October 2008):
You know the old saying, if you love something set it free, if it comes back it' meant to be? Maybe a little space is not only good for him, but for you too. It miht give you time to gather your thoughts and figure out how to approach this. Give him a little more time, and yourself as well. And remember, love does conquer all. :)
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A
female
reader, tina888  +, writes (2 October 2008):
he sounds like he is being an arse. Go with your gut feeling...for a woman this is nearly always right...if you think he is loking around, bet your not far wrong. If you are meant to be together, he will realise and come back.
But dont wait for him...make friends and try to get on with your life...isnt that was he is doing? Men eh?
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