A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a little confused now-a-days. February will be four years with my boyfriend. For the first 2.5 years of our relationship, it was bliss. He was sweet, kind, caring, cuddly, romantic and always there for me reguardless of how stupid the problem might have seemed. He was never insultive or anything. And for special occasions, he would buy me romantic gifts. When we started having sex (first time for both of us) he was very interested in it. We were very sexual. Then, about a year and a half ago, we moved in together. We were both excited and we'd talk about our future together and how much we meant to each other etc. Well I started college. And as college progressed, our relationship diminished. He started becoming bitter. He stopped cuddling me and told me it was boring and that he never liked it-making me feel as though parts of our relationship had been a lie. I have these panic attack type of things from time to time and during those, he tells me I'm childish. And at one point he said that "7 year olds have more common sense than that" Instead of being helpful and caring when I had self esteem issues or other problems, he became irritated and insultive. We stopped having sex. When I asked, he just said get on birth control because he didn't like condoms. So I did and after two months of being on it, we've had sex 2 times and thats it and it was mainly because I was whining. He used to let me help him with his problems when he had them, now he just tells me to leave him alone when I want to massage his back or help him. I just don't feel as happy with him, yet at the same time, we have our good periods. I just feel neglected and rejected. He still tells me he loves me and gets annoyed when I question it. Has he lost interest in me? Am I doing something wrong by wanting his attention??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): That's a bit helpful. I have noticed him complaining a lot about how he's a "loser" because he's in a dead end job and not going to college. He also gets upset that he has "no real friends" in this town. I never really considered that he may be upset with the college thing. Thanks!
A
male
reader, Belson8r  +, writes (23 January 2007):
Firstly, it seems to me as if your boyfriend has some issues with you going to college. He may see this as a threat, especially if your going to be socialising with other men or women. Does he ever ask you about friends from college or even in a round-a-bout way that you can think of? If so, then it maybe he see's you going to college and thinks it's unfair how you get to have all the fun. As for the whole telling you to stop when trying to massage him, it may be that he is still finding it hard to get to terms with you two moving in together,and is still learning to adjust to this new way of life. If this has been going on for months and months now, it could be that he is making excuses to put off sex with you. First birth control methods, now point blank saying 'NO'. In my opinion, i would ask him in the nicest possible way why he doesn't touch you or let you touch him anymore, confront him and tell him you need his attention, otherwise your out the door and away to find a proper man who can give you all the love and attention that i feel you deserve.
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