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My boyfriend is going to move 1000 miles away

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 December 2004) 27 Answers - (Newest, 24 December 2010)
A , anonymous writes:

okay i am 15 years of age and so is my boyfriend...resently he had to move about 1,000 miles away! We want to keep this relationship going but we dont know how, or if it will work...we wont be able to see eachother because obviously we can not drive that far by ourselves lol (laugh out loud) so what do we do? We love eachother and we have been dating for about 7 monthes! we dont want to quit now because a few 1,000 miles is between us lol(laugh out loud)but our friends think we are crazy for even trying....I NEED HELP!!!

signed hopless&helpless with out him

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010):

hello,this is the real test of your love....dont decide to quit!!it is somethung very foolish ..even you got the chance to explore new ideas hw to send him loads of ur love not even being in front of him..!!

send him love greetings,love e-cards,most passionate romantic love poems...so that he also eagerly wait for the day to make time and come back to meet you and love cherish even aafter getting miles away...

actually my bf also moved 1000 miles away.. but i be happy for him waits till he calls me and we discuss each other's lives to stay connected and then come to our love session whre we express each other soooooo much love which maintain the warmth of our love.and when we each time meet each other ,love increases triple times...try it ya..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010):

Same thing is happening to me,He's already gone, he moved 4 hours away, its soooo upsetting, I can't eat properly, I can't breath, I can't listen to music without balling my eyes out,and I NEVER CRY! and its right befor exams too.

I can't help but feel awful, one day a few weeks ago my friends said it sucks for the people with boyfriend around exams cause they have to keep them busy, and I said "I wish I didn't have my boyfriend for that time"

Now look at us now... hes far away and im still here.

I want to try long distance I feel it would work on my part but he keeps saying it wont work it never does.

Its like he doesn't want to try, he doesn't want to be with me. If I were you and my boyfriend was willing to try too, I would do anything!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010):

Hey my boyfriend is moving away too... we've decided though that on the day he's moving, we are going to break up. we decided it would be too hard on each other to keep going. we recently told each other that we were in love. its going to be harder than ever to let eachother go now... im 13.... hes 14 and a year older than me. you know many people say that this is an age for people to understand what love is but nobody really gets it... i have never felt this way about another human being before and he and i decided that if we really do love eachother maybe we'll wait. we spend countless hours on the phone every night crying our eyes out counting down the day until he leaves. my friends all ask me if im ok and i say ya but im dying on the inside. this is so hard for me and i can definitely relate to you. i say try and keep it going you never know how perfect some things might turn out... i hope that this helps... i wish i could use the advice for myself but its too late now.. he moves in 34 days... whats been decided has been decided... i don't know how i can live without him

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A female reader, laceyxbaby United States +, writes (9 June 2010):

Hey hopeless & helpless without him. I'm going through almost the exact same thing!Except my boyfriend is 19 and he cant drive. Lol, but heres my advise to you. If its true love, and you both really love and care for one another, then it will last. I promise you. But, if it's not true, then it will not last. And you will find someone to replace him in you're heart. They maybe not as great as him, but everything takes time. Maybe during the summer, you're parents can drive on of you guys to each others house for a week or two. You guys can always skype, and write letters to one another. Talk on the phone everyday, text a lot. I know it wont be "good enough" right now, but if your love is absolutely true, then it will last. Or, it wont last, even if it is true it might not last. But you guys WILL see each other in the future sometime soon or later. Fait will bring you two back together someday. Time is the key to everything. I hope I helped you some. Good luck!! I hope you two stick it out together and get to see eachother!3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010):

hey there, ok im 14 and my boyfriend is 16. we've dated for over 6 months now and he is my EVERYTHING. hes my best friend, brother, dad, and the love of my life. at first i thought i was blessed to have him and that everything was working out. but thats when he told me he was moving to mexico forever. it killed me, i hit rockbottom, as of right now im in depression, i've even thought of suicide. he says he wants to continue with a long distance relationship but i see that sorta impossible because i dont have a phone and my parents are strict. i feel as if he's dying... he's leaving in a couple of weeks and that'll just ruin my summer but ill see how my life goes on... but i cant see myself without him in the future.. :(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010):

When I was 16 I began dating a boy who lived in the same neighbourhood as me. I fell in love and 6 months later, I moved 3 hours away. It seemed daunting at the time, being so far away from each other and so young. We never really considered NOT doing long distance though.

Fast forward to 3 years later. I am almost 20 years old, and still dating that same boy. We lived long distance for 2 years, visiting each other about 2 weekends a month, sometimes less sometimes more. We are now at the same college. It was difficult and seemed almost impossible at times, but we made it. We talked every day, through texts, phone calls and msn. We also used to send each other cards or letters in the mail.

After 2 years of being apart, it was a bit of an adjustment living in the same city again, and on the same campus. You forget how much you can annoy each other on a daily basis. It was hard to adjust to seeing each other so often as well. Whereas I wanted to spend 24/7 together to make up for lost time, my boyfriend was more content being by himself more. But it was so worth it.. living on our own, we had no rules anymore, no curfews, no needing to ask permission to see each other, etc.

In the end, I am happy I did long distance. It makes your friends' relationship problems seem so trivial. I remember my friend complaining to me one time that she only got to see her boyfriend 4 days a week. Try 4 days a month! All in all I think it made our relationship stronger, and if it is worth it to you, you should try at it. When I found out at 16 that I was moving, my mom told me that things will always find a way to work out if it's meant to be. to be separated from your boyfriend at 16 seems like the end of the world, and 2 years seemed SO long.. we didn't even know if it would be 2 years or maybe longer. But in the end, it worked out perfectly. You will be amazed how perfectly things fall together in life, unlike you had ever imagined but better than you could ever hope for.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009):

im fourteen nearly 15, so is my boyfriend.

his everything to me. but his ment to be moving away its about a 2 hour drive, oviusly being 14 means i dont eitherr, we decided that if he went we wouldnt stay togetherr but i just can imagion being without him, i no theres nothing i can do but im scaredd i love him so much and he reallyy dosnt want to go either but his mum does. i reallyy dont no how im gunna do this.

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A female reader, looktothestars United States +, writes (15 June 2009):

Listen im 14 and i myself am preparing for the same hardship my boyfriend is also 14 his fathers in the navy and they are moving to athens greece for atlest 3 years

im scared to death and i love this boy more than anything worst thing is im in the united states and i have no way other then the computer to talk to him but the time difference is a problem too.

over the summer im gonna work my butt off to get money to go vist him and the trip is very exspensive even worse all my money would have to be changed to euros which are less than the american doller

listen for you me and all of the other people in the world with this problem we can do it if we love enough and believe and pray iv had soooo many people tell me it will never work iv even had people who almost had my boyfriend believing that but i know that they are wrong. its not impossible.write him letter send him pictures and if ur able call him youll be just fine. this is only going to make your love stronger. From one heart to the other i wish the best of luck to you. I really do.

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A female reader, fabienne Cauchi Malta +, writes (24 April 2009):

Hi, I am sorry about this, to tell you the truth I am having this problem too..My boyfriend is going to university soon and we have been together for four months..I am sure that I am going to miss him a lot but we are going to meet once or twice in every week.but all I can say is follow your hearth,I mean you can still contact him and talk to him. And I believe the much more you and your boyfriend miss each other,the more your realtionships gets stronger.Always make yourself busy as you can while he is away. It's not you only that you are facing this problem..so goodluck and hope you two will be still together.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008):

xOx

Welll bassicly its the same with me but my bf is from turkey and i hate wen people sayy aww there all players etc. They will never stop me loving him ! and honestly its really hard to have a relasionship 1000 milles away but it maybee make you both stronger as it did with us but do take my advice and go for it! .. dont listen to anyone tht says u cant love eachother becasue i know what its like and i love him soo much soo follow your heart sweetheart and i hope everything goes well for you both!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008):

your only 15 life is too short! this is a voice of experience i was in a long distance relationship at that age and your life ends up revolving round when you will next see them or hear from them. enjoy being young and spending time with your friends. you'll see someone will come along later that suits your lifestyle and lives closer. youve got plenty of time later to worry about things like phonebills and train or flight fares if its ment to be then maybe get back together in a couple of years. im now 21 and my partner is in the army and has been posted abroad its hard really hard. it expensive and heartbreaking. i would say until you had time to enjoy ur life a bit and be young don't get involved in a long distance relationship it takes over your life x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008):

then realy it might work 1000 miles isn't that far, now we have things like planes and trains so if you and your boyfriend wants to give it a go but if it won't work then it might be good idea to move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008):

Then follow your heart and do what your heart tells you to do but it might not work staying together as seeing as it will be hard for you two to keep seeing each other.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008):

i think that if you realy love him then give it a go but it might not work out because he could find somone else and so cud you if it dosent work out then end it because its gonna be difficult no matter what .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008):

really. dont worry about, my bf lives far away. n im 17. if u both have email. use msn to keep in touch n have long chats so u feel close to one another! im not saying u wont have ups n downs ofc you will. every relationship does! but just make sure u really do love him!and im pretty sure ull be fine! as long as u keep in contact!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

My boyfriend just informed yesterday that he was suppost to be moving to New Brunswick today, and I live in Toronto. He told me that he's moving to New Brunswick and that he's ending what we have because he believes it's not easy to keep a long distance relationship. We both really honeslty love eachother sooo much, we have a rare bond most teenagers don't have. I am 16 and he is 17. I just left a message to him that I would be able to visit him this summer, 2008, but I didn't get a responce yet cause I just sent the message. We both really love eachother and I feel why break up are love, if we love eachother enough why not try hard enough to keep this going. I feel we can, I know we can, it's just wether he's willing to believe this will work. My suggestion is that you plan trips to visit him, and if you can't, talk to him on the phone and msn or write letters or something. Because I believe if you love someone enough you can keep it going.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007):

cant u like go over and see this guy coz am dating a guy in american and we see each other like every1 2 months we always on the fone and talk on msn i no ur only 15 thou but never give up ur lover if u lover him try get a saturday job thats wat i did i meet him like 1 year ago i want to move him wif him but i gotta get a visa i really dont no what to do but we love each other u have ti keep trying trust me it will work GOOD LUCK chickxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007):

Hi hopeless and, helpless,

My boyfriend just moved a 1,000 miles away too. It's still hard for me to go on. Communicate on myspace if you have one. Talk on the phone, plan trips in the future.

Beleive me it works, I didnt want to break up with mine either, but I realyy had no choice but, to let go.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007):

hi you well right now i am going through the same thing and me and my boyfriend are just trying to just work it out. i am also the same age as you and i know its really hard. all of my friends all think that i should just break up with him and even my parents do but you should just do what you feel like you should do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007):

and now the same thing is happening to me.

sigh.

it's heartbreaking.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007):

hey im 15,the same thing happend to me, but he was suppossed to come bak. now hes not. and im lost without him. we're still in-love and we're waiting until we're 16 to run away.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007):

Listen i know how you feel my bf just informed me today he is moving away(may 14,2007) All you can do is keep contact. Im talking to you because i need your personal advice. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 years and i guess i should mention I am thirteen i love him sooo much HELP and I am so srry for you i know how it feels.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007):

something similar is happening to my friend's almost boyfriend figure. (they're not going out but have liked each other for ages) and he's moving four states away.

just arrange visits often

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006):

well my bf has just moved 6000 miles away and we're still keeping going.. i'm 15 years of age and he is 17. i dont know what to do.. ahh! i wouldnt go out with him before BECAUSE i know he was moving, but we were sort of 'togehter' for about 7 months also.. i'm in england and he's gone to south africa.. kinda far. expensive to fly. wont see him til nxt xmas probably, because this xmas i have my exams straight after and i know if i'm with him i wont learn anything, and then in my summer (his winter hols) he's going to see his uncle in america.. and so i will see him HOPEFULLY nxt xmas.. i think we will be ok. he's probably moving back in 2 yeras for a gap yera and then university. am i an idiot? x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006):

When I was fifteen my boyfriend of about six or seven months moved about 45 minutes away from me. I am now 19 and he's 20 we're still together and very much in love. I like to think that we have a special bond that not many teenagers find, especially at the age we were when we first started dating. In my opinion his move helped us a lot! Unlike most of the couples our age we could NEVER get sick of eachother, and when we were together we appreciated our time together. I am not sure what type of relationship you are in, but the best advice I can give you is to make sure you trust eachother. Given the circumstances you HAVE to believe that he loves you and give him the type of respect that you would like in return. It will be a difficult task for the both of you but if it's meant to be it will work out, and it will be worth every second of it.

The bond between my boyfriend and I is spectacular. I am starting college in a few weeks about 3,000 miles away from him, and in my heart I know that we'll make it through this as well. Just keep a positive and trusting attitude... and keep the relationship more fun and less serious. Good Luck :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006):

OMG THE -EXACT- THING MAY BE HAPPENING TO ME!! the same amount of months and im 15 and hes 15, ecept hes only moving about 20 minutes away:(, if he does... his parents and him are looking at the house right now.. he doesnt want to move so hes gonna say he hates the house and stuff :P haha i really hope he doesnt move :(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2005):

Dear H&HWOH

First things first: you are going to be neither hopeless nor helpless without him. You're a person, too, you know! You have to make your own decisions, whether he's nearby or not.

If you both want your feelings to remain strong and if you both work at staying up-to-date with each other, you'll strengthen your emotional bond and you will find a way to continue. When I say you have to work at it, I mean it, too. You can't sit around feeling sad and sighing and wishing things were different and have any chance of succeeding. It's important to you both that you accept the reality of your situation right now, and plan for it. Rather than moan and grizzle about the unfairness of Life - it IS unfair; welcome to the club! - you and he need to brainstorm how, realistically, you're going to stay in touch and involved in each other's lives. Enter email. Enter text messaging. Enter snail mail. Enter school holidays.

You're both going to be finishing school for the next couple of years, so do be realistic with your plans! You can't possibly promise that you'll write religiously, every single day, and still keep a) interesting and b) keep up with your other obligations, but set up something that will work for both of you. A long, weekly snail-mail letter with photos, for example, so you can stay updated with each other's hobbies and friends and interests. Buy pre-paid phone cards and allow yourselves one phone call now and then, so that you can really catch up and see if the spark remains. Send each other little keepsakes. Text message when you can. Get ICQ if you don't already have it. And email, of course, but make them count; don't take each other for granted. If you're still in love in another seven months, or another year, your parents might be willing to concede that you really are a couple and might help out with the occasional visit until you're old enough to drive.

Having said that, if the two of you actually do grow apart, don't be too sad. It happens. And it might have happened whether or not you lived apart. People mature and change and very few relationships that start at the age of 14 continue into adulthood. Think of this as a way to grow.

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