A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my bf is always upset each time i have to go overseas, saying that i am always away when he needs me. we have been together for over a year now and he always gets upset even if im going off for 2-3 days. my mom is always (once a month) wanting me to go overseas with the family. she says that if a man doesnt understand that a lady has a family to spend time with as well, i should just leave him. i need some advice on this. i really love him. i cant just leave him. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto anon - yes its true he has planned something / its a day he wish to spend with me, and that i am always gg away at the wrong time. but i dont have a choice. my mom already wants me gg away with her on those dates - festive dates sometimes. i want him to understand my situation - that i have no choice. i have to go off with the family or else ill be left alone at home - which my mom doesnt allow. he already knows what my family is like and he still wont understand.
to petina1 - his compromise is for him to not care about my leaving so i can do whatever i want. because he cant take my leaving and im doing it on a monthly basis, or so. and that if i want him to understand my leaving, i have to understand him not caring about me when im away. idk if this is the right thing for him to do.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): You mentioned that you always went away when he needed you. Maybe you could clarify with that? What if he had actually planned something to do with you but you chose to go away? What if it is a day he wished to spend with you? Maybe he had developed this phobia of being left alone because you are always leaving him when he had took his time to plan things to do with you? You should clarify on this. I wouldn't want to advice you just to know that you're asking a question that is biased against him.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (18 December 2010):
 You've been with him for a year, he knew that's what your life entailed. What's changed now, why is it a problem to him now. He musnt start preaching to you telling you what you must and mustnt do. 2 - 3 days isnt too much to ask is it. It's not as if you are leaving him for months. You must ask him not to be so clingy and controlling. If he loves you he will have to compromize to keep you.
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