A
female
age
41-50,
*carletfoe
writes:Me and my boyfriend has been in this relationship for 4 years, 2 years together and two years apart since I have to go overseas to work. We were so inlove. We have been through a lot in life. He is 25 and im 27. He has been asking me to marry him two years ago, he doesn't want us to be apart, so we can be together. I am half the world away from him. Honestly, every time he asks me to marry him, I was sure that I'm not ready to settle down, he has a lot of growing up to do. I finally got the guts to tell him that I cant marry him this yr, maybe next yr. One day, he started begging literally begging that I should go home right away and marry him and never leave him again coz he cant wait anymore and cant stand us being apart (later i found out why he was so impatient coz he has been sleeping around). I said I cant just go home, I still have a work contract to finish, then he broke up with me. He did not talk to me in a month. Then one day he said, things wont be same anymore. He confessed that he slept with 4 girls and he got a new gf, a 20 yr old girl whom he met after a one night stand. I asked him if we can still work it out. I made him choose between me and the girl, he said that he is falling for the girl and he wanna try if their relationship will work out. Maybe this things happened because we are apart. My life was never the same, I realized how much I love him after i lost him. I should have married him when he asked me so many times, now his gone. I thought i would die of heartache. I had a hard time moving on and if you ask me now, i would marry him if ask me again. But, I have to move on, its the only way to go. But there's one thing that's bothering me, he is not taking off my/our pictures together in his facebook and he is not taking off our promise ring even he already got a new gf, the girl has been asking him to take it off but he never would. Anyone who would see his facebook could say that Im the gf not someone else. How am I suppose to move on if he still cling on this things, we haven't seen each other yet coz im overseas, in two months time I will be home. Im scared to go home, I know It will be an emotional rollercoaster with all the memories and knowing that I have no one to go home to anymore. Should i see him?
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female
reader, scarletfoe +, writes (4 July 2010):
scarletfoe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey guys thank you for your time and advice! yeah i have been naive and crazy thinking that I can still fix the moment i knew about everything. Maybe I was in denial at that time. Now as I reflect and look back, I would never allow myself to be with him ever again! He disrespected me and there is no excuse to all the things he did. Sleeping 4 times with different girls is too much. If he truly cares and loves me, he could have stopped the first time. Now he is telling me he is confused, regretful and guilty to all the mess he did. I think its best to leave the situation like that and never give him a chance. Its a lesson for him to learn in life that once you mess up, your screwed. I hope he wont cheat on the girl he is with. Life is a gamble they say, I will take my chance to find someone who can love me better.
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (3 July 2010):
First of all he's not taking your pic's off in case things doesn't work out w/ the other girl! so you can be sloppy seconds if thats what you prefer? he is a dog, and you should be glad you found out now then later after you married him! i think you need some growing up to do and im not being mean you asked our advice and here's mine! you need to move on and read your letter: out loud and listen to what you wrote i mean seriously,
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): Seeing him could be good for you. I wouldn't hope
for anything to happen. But even if you were
just friends, isn't that better than not talking? And if you do see him you might be able to ask him why he hasn't taken off the photos and ring. It could be he's not over you and is using this girl as a distraction. But don't get your hopes up. That's a dangerous thing to do.
But I would go and see him. If only to be friends or even just to say hello.
He would like to hear from you. I'm sure. We guys do. Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): If you want to start moving forward,start by removing him as a friend on Facebook. You don't need to keep looking at his page--you're just giving yourself false hope.How do you know so much about what's going on in his new relationship if you're overseas?
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