A
female
age
36-40,
*amil24
writes:Hello, I am 24 years old and I just moved to Atl from Cali, my boyfriend is going overseas and he wanted me to be close to his family while his is away. I am starting school in Jan and I just started a really good job. My boyfriend has a little boy who's 3 years old and he lives with his baby mama, she is always calling driving me insane and most of the time it doesn't have anything to do with their son. Sometimes she will just call because she is lonely or something and that really bothers me, because it seems like she does it more and more every day because she knows me and him are getting closer and closer.Just 2 weeks ago he was talking about marrying me and now everything he's been telling me isn't the same any more and I know it's because of her. Whatever she says goes because he is afriad to lose his son, now he is talking about when he comes back from overseas he wants to move back to Cali to be closer to his son, but I don't want to move back there, there's nothing out there for me and I don't want to be anywhere near her, I wanted us to have our own life, I know he has his son but there has to be something else we can do to make this work out in a way that I am not just following her around please help me!!!!! I want to save this realationship but with her in the way I don't know how long it will last. Signed a mad black woman Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): The sad part about this is that there is not much you can do except be supportive of him. Woman use children all the time and the only one who can stop that is the man. If he opts to cater to her, then you will only be labeled as a jealous, control freak of something of that nature. Just be supportive and just sit on the sidelines and see what happens. What God has is for you and it will all work out if it is meant. Otherwise you will drive yourself insane trying to combat a neverending problem. Trust me I am going through the same thing and this is the only thing that works. My bf has 3 kids, 3 different moms, all crazy and his mom is crazy wanting him with one of them, yet he is right there with me because I am drama-free and they are all fighting against me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): From the way things sound, that lady definitely is using her son to manipulate him. Perhaps they should work on a compromise. For example during the holidays, you and him may go back to cali to visit him or the other way round. Keep this in mind, he loves you, not her. You've got no reason to doubt his feelings about you. The fact that she's desperately trying to ruin your relationship with him shows that she's insecure. You also have to give thumbs up to him for wanting to take his responsibility as a father. You can move to cali but you don't have to stay near her. If you do move to cali with him, he'll love you more for being supportive to him.
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