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anonymous
writes: I recently got married to someone I knew for only 8 months, I've never been so happy with a man and my parents get on with him also. But he is in the army and we were given army accomodation. I can't drive and at the moment we are skint. I teach and I'm on half term. I haven't made any friends here and I'm very lonely. I can't afford to see my friends or to do anything and I'm bored. With his job he comes home and often tells me he has to go away for a few days so I'm here alone. I have a cat to look after so it's not as though I can stay with friends and my family live too far away. I love him very much but I miss my friends I'm wondering if I should move back too and leave him although I don't want to give up on him and I know I would miss him like mad. He's signed off for me and I know it's not his fault but I'm so lonely. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Alison St Pierre, writes (3 March 2005): If you are unhappy in yourself, you can't possibly make your partner happy. If you think back to the person you were when he was first attracted to you, it would be very unlikely that you were a bored unhappy individual. Army life does not appeal to everyone. If you are married to a soldier, you are as much a part of that life as he is because you are partners. Sooner or later this relationship will end because you are not suited to this life style and you are an individual in your own right. Better to leave early whilst you still like each other.
A reader, ellen, writes (19 February 2005): If you love him then stay. Do you both write notes and letters on a daily basis? That can mean so much when you are lonely. When he comes home and tells you he is leaving for a few days sneak a love note into his pack with a blank piece of paper and a self addressed envelope to write you back while he is gone. Men are pretty clueless about things like that but after a few times he will catch on. How about joining a book club. That isn't expensive. How about taking a class yourself. There are plenty available even on line. You sound so happy with him that it would be a shame to let it go so easily.
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